♥♥♥

;/

2011-07-03T01:55:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is gonna be the 3rd time for me celebrating my birthday without my mom. I don't know how to hide my tears, especially tomorrow. I don't know how to face it, its really hard for me. She's all I had and without her, life doesn't make sense to me. My whole world has fallen apart. Ya Allah :(

Tarabik paluih den ;c

2010-11-26T07:29:00.000-08:00

Hmm what a tiring day.. I am so000 exhausted;x I just got back from work. I can feel that my whole body was like trying to warning me to stop working. My effin god! It feels like shit, all the bitchy girls ugh, they disgust me! Well, lets just forget about it. I don't know what's wrong with me this few weeks, my head, I don't know how to cure the headache ;s I already took my med but the pain still haunting me. How come? Pft. and and, even though I've been through so many hard times right now, deep inside he's still on my mind. Hmmm I miss him:'( I miss US :'( I'm still waiting for him ;(

I am dying because of u

2010-11-15T01:48:00.000-08:00

It has been so very long but I still remember everything. I never thought we would ever be apart, but now it's been way too long. I just wanna hear ur voice. I know our life together has not been perfect, but that's just the way life goes. The way I feel for u doesn't go away. I thought after u left u would fade away from my mind but still everyday I wake up dreaming of our time together. I'll never forget u. I hope u still think of me too. There's nothing in this world that can compare to u and over these past years I've come to conclude that I feel like I am nothing without someone like u:( Though we've broken each other's hearts, we've always come back to try again but now this heart continues to break. All the promise's that u made, remember u said one day u were going to make me ur wife? I know that good things come to those who wait but my wonder is why does it take so long for those good things to arrive and why does the wait have to come with all these obstacles of hard and testing times? I am sick of this. Ya Allah:'( I'll wait as long as it takes because my love for u won't change in a year, twenty, not even a life time!!! U're always in my thoughts and prayers. Bak kata Brian Mcknight "U got the keys to my heart" macam tu la I rasa sekarang :'( Allah knows everything

"I'll be waiting for u.. here inside my heart I'm the one who wants to love u more..."

:')

2010-11-15T01:29:00.000-08:00

Oh its been a while!!! Well, my sister is getting married soon, so I am soooo busy preparing for her wedding thingy. Btw, my friend, Hadib is going to fly to Korea tonight for like 'a years' I think?-,- My effin god. He's like our bestfriend jugak kot. It hurts to accept but what else we can do and plus, its his dream to become a well-known footballer. Hadib, take a good care of urself, u're always in our thoughts. and and one thing, pls jangan lupa kitorang nanti. Of course we're gonna miss ur "pandai main!!!" Damn!!! Kalau dh famous jangan lupa kawan-kawan ayam kau ni k? Gonna miss ur green's helmet too hahahahah toodles

Hello hello

2010-10-21T03:32:00.000-07:00

I've been busy lately with lot of things. Raya pun tk sempat update, well just forget about it. Papa pulak hari tu admitted hospital. Thats why takde masa nak update blog semua ni. Alhamdulillah, he's getting better now:) Plus, final exam is just around the corner. I don't know what to say. I'm not ready for my final exam! My oh my!This few days rasa lain macam. Asyik terfikir-fikir pasal ibu and also Allah. Setiap malam asyik terfikir, kalau lah tuhan tu nak amik nyawa aku time tu, senang je die terus amik. Tk fikir apa pun. Tah time tu keadaan aku macam mane la kan? Rasa macam diri ni kecil je di sisi Allah. Senang je die nak tarik nyawa kita. Tu pasal aku sekarang macam bila nak buat apa je mesti terfikir benda tu. So, aku lebih menghargai la hidup aku skrg ni walaupun tk berapa nak baik diri ni, but still, ade la jugak keinsafan dalam diri. Tak salah kan? I hope this feeling will always be there so that whenever I wanna do something bad, it'll automatically stop me. InsyaAllah. Yeah, nobody's perfect kan?

Heartache? Hmm well, there's nothing else I can say. Cause I'm tired of this. Kalau ade jodoh, ade la. Kalau tkde, nak buat macam mane. Dah bukan rezeki kan? I'm not sure which one of them who really were my soulmate. Asyik heartbroken je kan? Dah macam lali dh dengan semua ni. So, from now on, i'll just do my thing and hoping that someone will appreciate me and love me for who I am hehe no more nangis nangis please:)

"Mencintai tidak semestinya memiliki"

I'll be loving u for the rest of my life...

2010-09-25T04:05:00.000-07:00

I do swear that I'll always love u. I'd give anything and everything and I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better or worse, I'll love u with every beat of my heart! I will wait anxiously to be with u again. Until then u are in my heart, and in my mind, and I will ache until your return :( I'm even getting old waiting for u. Deep in my heart I feel that u are the only man I can love. Every day I feel so lonely, seeing my friends going out with their lovers while u instead just do nothing. I just want u here with me. Please... life is very hard without u :'(

This is not what I want..

2010-09-06T00:23:00.000-07:00

I've been trying and trying.. but this is not what I want. I just want my old life back. When we were together. I'm dying here, please la why is this happening to me? I cannot stand this pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:(

2010-08-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

"
If my heart had wings I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream. - Faith Hill"

I didn't asked for it to be like this. Just that, I really really miss u. I just wanna meet u, but why is it so hard for u to come and meet me? U don't even have the commitment.. Why baby? I miss u most when I'm sad, I miss u when I'm lonely I MISS U ALL THE TIME :( I don't wanna be like this ALL THE TIME. It makes me sick and really hurts like hell ;[ but I will always love u baby, no matter what.

My Baby

2010-08-22T03:11:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna think I'm going to lose u someday. U've always been there for me and I wanna be there for u just the same. U're the kind of person I could never afford to lose. because I love u so much baby! and baby, I know that we spend most of our time talking about nothing, but I just wanna let u know that all of these nothings have meant so much more than so many somethings. and yes, I think other guys are cute. but every time I see a cute guy, I remind myself how cute u are and how much I love u, how sweet u are. and suddenly, that other guy doesn't look all that good anymore. I don't need any other guys bby. I just need u:)

I missed this :'( It makes me wanna cry *sighs

2010-07-31T05:13:00.001-07:00

Dear B.L,

I rarely write a love letter, but I thought i'd do this fr u because u are the the most wonderful thing in my life right now:) I know we're far apart -- u're in ***, and Im in KL -- but hey, like I said, distance means so little when u love someone so much. I was just talkin to a friend bout u and explaining how u are on my mind 24/7. I can't eat, sleep, walk, or even work without thinking about u U are in my thoughts all the time. I'd tell u, u're in my heart, but I don't feel like that would be right, because my heart is not mine anymore> it belongs to u. u make me feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world. I need u to know I am with u through everything, the bad and the good. I've given u my heart and I hope thatou won't break it. Keep it and give it some loving from time to time. Don't worry about what other people say, I know how I feel towards u, and u know how u feel towards me, so just ignore them. Cant wait to meet ya
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not that sweet 16

2010-07-03T10:43:00.000-07:00

Syukur Alhamdulillah I'm still breathing. The 1st person yg wish, as usual, my beloved bestfriend, Renee Amira. I love her so much, I really do. Dh 2tahun meraikan tanpa ibu di sisi. Sad, isn't? Org yg paling kite syg, reason kita hidup, tp dh takde. Rase mcm mimpi je semua ni, knp cepat sgt ibu tggl kn ekin? Rase mcm dh tak sanggup dh nk hidup, lebih rela ikut ibu. Tp tu la, like everyone said, everything happens for reason, life must go on. Right? Hmmm I don't know what else to say, mungkin ini adalah takdir yg perlu aku terima dan redha dgn segala ketentuan-Nya. Ya Allah ya tuhanku, Ampunilah dosa kedua ibu bapa ku, tempatkan lah mereka di syurga mu Ya Allah ya tuhanku yang maha pemurah lagi maha pengasih, kasihanilah kedua ibu bapa ku seperti mana mereka mengasihani aku sejak kecil lagi, jauhkan lah mereka daripada azab kubur dan azab api neraka mu Ya Allah makbulkan lah doa hamba mu ini Ya Allah, ampunilah segala dosa-dosa ku Ya Allah sesungguhnya engkau maha pengampun dan maha mengerti segala nya. Amin, amin, amin Ya Robbalallamin.

And, aku still lagi tgk video tribute ibu ni, can't stop watching it. Rindu yang teramat amat sgt dekat ibu. Teringat semua kenangan2 dgn ibu, tk boleh la, sebak betul Hmmmmmmm
Al-Fatihah.

Now and forever...

2010-07-03T02:41:00.000-07:00

My dear, I missed u so much. At this moment, I just wish I could be with u now and forever.. I keep thinking bout u. Its all about u :( I cried last night just because of u. I wish I could roll back the times when we were together. Entah tibe-tibe je perasaan ni tk henti2 mcm ni. I don't know why!! and to be honest, it really hurts me.. really really bad :(

I don't know what else to do. May Allah help me to get through all of this& may Allah bless u too :( Everytime I see ur pictures, our pictures, I'll cry. I couldn't stop those tears that fall down my cheek :'(

InsyaAllah

2010-06-29T08:08:00.001-07:00

*tgh membiasakn diri baca doa ni tiap-tiap hari supaya dimakbulkan. Kerana setiap kata-kata itu 1 doa, amin amin amin Ya Robbal Allamin.
Ya Allah, Seandainya telah engkau catatkan
Dia milikku tercipta buatku
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami
Agar kemesraan itu abadi
Tetapi Ya Allah
Seandainya telah engkau takdirkan
Dia bukan milikku
Bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku Ya Allah
Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan
Serta Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku Yang Maha Mengerti
Berikanlah aku kekuatan
Melontar bayangannya jauh ke dada langit
Hilang bersama senja nan merah
Agar aku boleh bahagia
Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya
Dan Ya Allah yang tercinta
Gantikanlah yang telah hilang
Tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah
Walaupun tidak sama dengan dirinya
Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku
Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdirMu
Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan
Adalah yang terbaik buatku
Kerana Engkau Maha Mengetahui
Segala yang terbaik buat hambaMu ini
Ya Allah
Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaku
Di dunia dan di Akhirat
Dengarlah rintihan dari hambaMu yang daif ini
Jangan Engkau biar aku sendirian
Di dunia ini mahupun di Akhirat
Menjurus aku ke arah kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran
Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman
Supaya aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup
Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan yang soleh, amin, amin, amin Ya Robbal Allamin..

Not okay

2010-06-29T07:53:00.001-07:00

Tengah meng-prepare kan diri ni untuk my upcoming bday Ahad ni, 2tahun menyambut tanpa ibu di sisi. Mood tak berapa nk baik 2 3 hari ni, dh boleh rase mcm mane nnt time hari tu. Menangis, itu perkara biase. 2 3 hari ni jugk aku terasa insaf semacam. Rasa mcm byk sgt dh aku buat dosa, harap2 la perasaan ni sentiasa ada dlm diri ni supaya dpt aku hindarkan segala macam dosa yg senantiase aku lakukan. I'm just sick and tired of doing that. Jauhkanlah segala hasutan iblis terhadap ku, amin.

Thursday

2010-06-17T00:44:00.000-07:00

Hurmmm? Is it? So lepas ni kalau ade sexual harassment ke ap, kita tak boleh nk salah kan dorang la? By using this fact? Right? Sekarang ni, mcm2 kafir boleh buat. Maybe ade betul nye, but then again, We should not take this as an advantage for us, I mean for the guys la kan. I don't know whether its true or not but maybe we can take this as a knowledge for us

Hello Hello

2010-06-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

Its been ages I didn't post anything since last 2 months. I've been busy lately with exam and a lot of things. I don't wanna talk bout exam, cause obviously I will fail those importants subject. Yeah yeah yeah, what to do, I didn't prepared well before. I'm on school break right know, fheww best gila plus enjoying fifa world cup kan sampai tak tidur kan sampai mata sembam kan, mmg best -..-

Aku makin menyampah pulak tengok betina-betina dekat facebook ni. Im getting sick of it, like seriously. Macam nk main balik myspace je. Tah mane betina tah, set her default holding cigga, and I was like? "Macam cibaiiiiiiii" Hello? Is it necessary? and I really hate ppl who wants to show off to the whole world that they're taking drugs, alcohol, and those things. Tak perlu la mcm tu, even aku pun tk masuk kn gambar-gambar mcm tu. Orang amik semua tu nk enjoy, ini tak, Just for the sake nak bangga diri amik benda tu semua by taking those pics and upload it on fb, etc. Aku tk ckp nk tgkp gambar tu salah, but come on la, u shouldn't have done that la. So unprofessional -__- or in other words "immature" I suppose? Aku pun kalau tgkp gmbr punye la suruh Darina jgn msuk pic yang kurang baik. Tolong la, buat ape nak masukkan? Setakat nk malu kn diri sendiri baik tkpyh la, beribu2 orang kat dunia ni yg main fb and kita tktau ap yg diorang boleh buat so takpyh la nk take risk. Might as well simpan je. Memalukan betul ;O

Hahah by the way guys, just wanna introduce u my part time lover for the time being. Hahahahaha wuuuu me likey likey

Hmmmm what else? Oh yeah, my bf? They all left me and I don't know where the hell they gone. Whatever, yang penting chuck tetap bersama blair, through good and bad :) Ahh I just love it!!

Life without ibu

2010-04-30T19:20:00.000-07:00

Its not that easy, i've been struggling to live my life without her.. They just don't know how much I suffered, its easier said than done. Pn tan wrote something on my essay's book, she told me she really engrossed reading my essay and knows what i've been through and asked me to go and see counselor. Hmmm I can't, they do not understand my feelings, seriously. Its not like before this i never been there. I've been there a lot of times, seriously it won't works. Maybe I should just live my life like this and hoping it could be as beautiful as before.. Until then, I just have to wait..

million of tears..

2010-04-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

I love u so much, it makes me cry bcause I know that when it finally happened that someone will take u away or u would have to leave. My love for u won't be enough to make u stay :( I don't know why u did this to me, but hmmm. I played the same song, over and over cause it reminds me of u. Am i really that bad? and i don't deserve someone like u? For heaven sakes, im sick of trying. I'll always love u, forever, but i have to move on. May Allah bless u, amin.
I LOVE U SO MUCH *sighs

I missed ibu so much. Ibu i miss ur hugs :'( I cannot live without you, pls come back I just need u here beside me to get through all of this. Please Im begging u, I miss u so much ibu. Ekin rindu sgt dkt ibu, sgt sgt :'(
Balik rumah, tkd sp dekat rumah after all this time, ibu yg selalu tggu ekin dkt rumah, pick me up at school, tp skrg bile ekin balik skolah, theres nobody in the hse. Kakak keje. Im all alone in the house.
I forgot to tell u guys, hari tu i mimpi psl ibu. I cannot remember what day, but it happened last week if im not mistaken. I was so tired just got back from volleyball training, then mandi2 lepas tu baring dlm bilik tertidur. I dreamt bout ibu, mimpi time tu dalam kereta ibu duduk depan and i was at the back. We were heading to somewhere I don't know where. Time dlm keta tu, i pegang tgn die, i kiss tgn die byk kali seolah2 i mcm baru perasan ibu i yg i dh lame tk jumpe i mcm rase benda tu mcm realiti tp in the same time i tgh bermimpi. fhm tak? Hmmm then suddenly i menangis i ckp dgn die knp ibu tggl ekin? knp ibu tggl ekin sorg2? pls jgn tggl kn ekin lg, tp die tk brckp lngsung, die diam je. I cried some more, then suddenly kakak woke me up then she asked me knp i menangis while i tidur? I was a bit blur, I wiped my tears, then I told her that I was dreaming bout ibu. Sedih sgt kn? Tk tau la same ad itu betul2 ibu or cume mimpi. I harap sgt dpt jumpe ibu, peluk ibu, kiss ibu lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeee2. Setiap hari, setiap malam ekin msti berharap sgt supaya ibu dtg sini, tidur dgn ekin setiap mlm. I just, I cannot survive my life without u ibu :'(
;I dedicated this song for u ibu...

oral test 2010- cooking show

2010-04-06T02:19:00.000-07:00

THE SCRIPT

Ekin: Good Afternoon to my beloved english teacher, Pn Tan Siew Yan and friends. Today, I'm going to show you guys how to make a simple sandwich for a picnic. A healthy way to enjoy urself, to have a picnic with a perfect simple sandwich. The ingredients is cabbage, cheese, black-pepper, tomato and wholegrain bread.
I'm going to use a healthy bread, which is wholegrain. You can also choose any kind of bread u prefer.
Then, decide what u want to put inside. There are tons of toppings from the classic peanut butter& jelly to the more complex ones such as tuna& vegetables. You can choose whatever u want but BE CAREFUL to mix flavors that work well together. So now, Renee is going to cut the tomato into slices, put it on the top of the bread, continue with cheese, some black-pepper and cabbage. Get together all ur picnic yummies& u're ready for picnic! Thank you.

:l

2010-04-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

You're the reason I live and the reason I die, you're the reason

chapter1&2

2010-03-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

I just finished baca-ing the 2 topics for tommorrow's exam. and im gonna write it back based on what i baca just now to test wheiter i can remember it or not.

There's a 7 scientific investigation method, the 1st one is identifying the problem, identifying the variables, making a hypothesis, controlling the variables, planning the investigation, carrying out the investigation and writing a report. Identifying the problem means understand the problem and stating the problem by asking questions. Forming a hypothesis means making a general statement about the relationships between manipulated and responding variables, must be tasted to prove its validity. Planning an experiment means planning a suitable and systematic method, determining the apparatus, time and situation. Controlling the variables means to control the manipulated, responding and constant variables. The last one is, carrying out the investigation, means to do experiment by having collection of data, intepretation of data and conclusions.

Body coordination means ability to move one's movements properly. It invovles two system, it is nervous system and endocrine system. The importance of body coordination is enables the body to carry out various activities, protect the body from external stimuli and ensures health of the well-being of our body.

The human nervous system composed 2 system, it is CNS and PNS. Theres a 2 parts in CNS. It is brain and spinal cord. Brain controls all actions and spinal cord controls reflex actions.Theres also 2 parts in PNS the 1st one is somatic nerve system, somatic nerve system controls all voluntary actions. It invovles 2 things in the somatic nerve system, it is cranial cord, found in the head and spinal cord, found in the body. The 2nd part in the PNS is autonomy nerve system, autonomy nerve system controls all involuntary actions. It also involves 2 things, the first one is sympathetic nerve system and parasympathetic nerve system.

Thats all i know guys ;O

No it don't mean jack!

2010-03-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

Im happy with my life now, stop disturbing me. Do ur own thing please. Don't act like u're sooo sooo caring about me. I miss you, I'll always love you but I have to move on.
Im going to bkt merah today, and friday im goin to penang XOXO

Finally, but........

2010-03-15T07:30:00.001-07:00

It feels like i'm stuck in the best fairytale in the world, or like i'm having the best dream that I could ever imagine, and i'm just so scared that i'm gonna wake up from the dream and maybe everything will just be all gone :X *hope my life will get better than before, amin ;O

You're better than the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)
And the moments when my good times start to fade

You make me smile like a sun, Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along just like a flower pokin through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain
And just like that

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

;)

2010-03-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

him

2010-03-12T05:15:00.000-08:00

It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. but you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. and yes, you will have bad days but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person

SYAFIAH HUMAIRAH SAHARI

2010-02-28T06:57:00.000-08:00

SALAM TAKZIAH BUAT ALLAHYARHAM SYAFIAH HUMAIRAH SAHARI,

Mangsa dera kejam seorang lelaki yg menjadi teman lelaki kpd ibunya. Dhla duduk sekali, kawin nye tak? Astaga, Allah knows everything. Hmmm may Allah bless this girl. Sudah tentu nya masuk syurga.Tk dpt byg kn betapa sakit nye budak 3 thn ni menderita kena seksa mcm tu? Hmmm masyaAllah, Al-fatihah.

IBU

2010-02-28T04:47:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. ppl have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just because you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait hmmmmm :'(

a letter from my stepfather kononnye dedicated to my late mom -_-

2010-02-25T05:47:00.001-08:00

Sayang....

Ingatan ini tidak pernah padam terhadap dirimu. Setiap kali selesai menghadiahkan Al Fatihah pada rohmu, aku sentiasa berlinangan air mata. Setiap kali terdengar lagu "Tiada Lagi Kidungmu", diri ini tersedu sedan menahan gelodak di dlm dada.

Sayang....

Seminggu setelah pemergian dirimu, aku tak mampu pulang ke rumah kita. Aku tahu diri ini tidak sekuat dirimu menahan sebak. Namun setelah tiba waktunya, aku pulang juga. Sebaik sahaja melangkah masuk, aku terus hiba. Apabila masuk ke kamar kita, aku tewas akhirnya. Aku meraung, aku menangis. Aku peluk selendang mu yg tidak berbasuh lagi. Aku cium wangi dirimu. Aku lihat potret kita di atas meja. Aku memeluk bantal terakhir yg kau tidur sebelum kau dibawa ke hospital. Aku meraung dengan semahunya mahunya....Aku sedar aku sudah kehilangan dirimu. Aku sedar tiada lagi seorang kekasih menyambut kepulanganku. Aku sedar tiada lagi seorang isteri di sampingku. Di mana lagi harus aku bermanja? Di mana lagi harus aku mencurah kasih yg tak terhingga? Di mana lagi hendak aku mengadu kisah duka..?

Sayang...

Bulan Ogos bakal tiba. 5 Ogos menandakan setahun dirimu pulang menghadapNya. Setahun diri ini sayang tinggalkan. Setahun juga diri ini terumbang ambing tiada arah tujuan. Setahun juga aku merindukan suara mu, gelak tawamu, gurau senda kita...setahun aku kehilangan mu sayang.....

Sayang....

Aku mendirikan istana yang baru. Aku berkahwin juga setelah tidak dapat hidup sendirian. Namun aku membuat kesilapan. Panas yang aku harapkan ke petang, hujan mencurah di tengah hari. Aku kehilangan seseorang sekali lagi. Namun perpisahan yg terbaru ini tidak begitu perit. Mungkin kasih kami belum matang dan berakar umbi. Lalu dalam mengharungi hidup yg kembali keseorangan ini, bayang wajahmu tidak pernah lari dari ingatanku. Apakah aku bersalah sayang? Apakah aku bersalah tidak meminta izin darimu untuk mendirikan istana yg baru?

Sayang....

Aku pohon dari kejauhan ini, izinkanlah aku bertemu seseorang sebagai penawar semua kedukaan yg tak pernah padam di hati ini. Izinkanlah aku mengasihi seorang lain yg bergelar isteri. Walaupun aku tahu dirinya tidak boleh menyamai dirimu, namun aku pasti sayang juga mahu sesorang menjaga diriku, menyayangi diriku walaupun tidak sama dengan caramu. Tapi sayang, jiwa dan hati ini terlalu luka. Apakah dapat lagi aku menerima seorang insan untuk menerangi segenap hati yg kegelapan? Kasihku yang pertama meninggalkan aku sendiri...kasih ku yg kedua menghalau aku jauh pergi...Haruskah aku sanggup menerima kasih yg ketiga tanpa berbelah bahagi...?

Sayang...

Sayang jangan risau...sayang sentiasa di dlm ingatan, terpahat kuat tiada yg boleh menggugat. Di dalam hati ini telah aku sediakan ruang khas utk ingatan terhadap sayang. Sayanglah isteri, kekasih, sahabat pertama dlm hidup ini.......

walaupun tiada lagi ku dengar kidung....kerana kau pegi meninggalkan aku..

tiada lagi derai tawamu...kerana aku kini keseorangan

hanya kesepian...yang kian mencengkam...jiwaku..keran

..a tidak pernah terisi oleh kasih yang lain

Sayang....

Aku berdoa pada Yang Maha Esa...semoga sayang di tempatkan di golongan yang disayangiNya...semoga sayang bahagia di sana...semoga sayang tenang dan abadi selamanya...

Al Fatihah...
--------------------------..--------------------------..--------------------------..-----

What is this suppose to mean? After what u did to us? after what u did to the whole family? Can't u remember? 3weeks b4 my mom passed away? U were so mad, cuz my mom was walking a bit 'lembab'? U were shouting in front of ppl at the airport? while i was holding her hand? Still remember? What are u trying to do right now actually? Allah knows everything. U no need to tell us this whole crap. Everyone knows u met that girl before my mom died right? Its too late. Remember, what u give u get back. No need to write this just because u want another person in ur life. Nothing to do with my mom! U know what is my 1st impression when i saw this? "did he do this just for the sakes everybody would've sympathy to him or actually being a beggar?". U think my mom would want u to look happy without her? after what u did to her? NO! I DONT THINK SO!
Stop it, enough is enough. DONT U EVER DARE COME TO ME OR TO US FOR FORGIVENESS!
Its not worth it, AT ALL!

Sincerely from ur stepdaughter,
Azrul Asyikin Aziz Ahmad.

FED UP

2010-02-21T06:09:00.000-08:00

fuck la its always me. im the baddest one. wtf ever la wei. Im freaking tired with all this bullshits! Fuck the world IM DEAD

Peter

2010-02-18T10:26:00.000-08:00

Ohmygod, just now i went to bkt jalil for jogging with my dad. afta we go back im the only one yg tak mandi lagi. punye la laret dok on9. tup tup its already 12.45? burpppp. i wonder how am i gonna survive in the toilet semua dah tidur. Punye la berani kan diri pegi tandas, suddenly time bukak pintu tandas ade peter terbang. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *sudden attack la kata kn hahaha
punye la mati akal dok fikir mcm mn nak mandi dgn peter tu ade kt dalam. Damn where's the 'damn' ridsect? pftttt. Finally, jumpe jugak! Dah 10 kali spray peter tu baru la die pening2 sikit mcm nk pitam(see on the pic above). Huh dapat jugak mandi dengan tenang. And damn, it was like an EARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHQUAKEEEE!!

*did u notice this few days i didnt bold any words? its because of im kinda lazy to bold any 'keywords'. only if i got time to bold it, then i will :P

NO AIR

2010-02-17T08:51:00.000-08:00

THIS IS FOR YOU BABY
+the lyrics is totally for you

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

**I miss u but i don't wanna text u, cuz i know u didn't miss me right?

Back to basic

2010-02-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

Well its been "erkk how many days hah?" i've been starving like hell just to make sure that i can wear those bikini's in my closet which getting stinky day by day ;x als, i've trained myself to jog as much as i can. but i guess it doesn't work so much though. My stomach still look ~!@#$%^&*()_+. Whatever it is, i'll try my best to get the best result. I AM THE SOLUTION!!Just wait another 3months :P *i guess so hehe

I dont wanna talk about the hp thingy -__- TQ

Ibu

2010-02-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

Its all about ibu. Tadi ade perbincangan psl family. Its about harta-harta arwah ibu semua yg skrg jd masalah bile ayahanda and mak ngah adalah punca segalanya. Sambil aku dok dengar-dengar dorg berbincang semua suddenly terus terasa sebak sangat-sangat. 'rupe nye mcm ni la mak ngah? selama ni yg dikatekn adk kpd ibu aku rupe-rupe nye bertalam-talam muke die' 'drpd dulu ayahanda mmg tk serik-serik nk musnah kn hidup ktorg'. benda2 tu la yg dok bermain kt fikiran aku sambil diorang dok berbincang. Aku rase kesian sgt dkt akak, abg wan, abg lg, yana and diri aku sendiri. Selama ni yg mak ngah yg ktorang knl, yg baik dengan ibu semua. rupe-rupe nye bile ibu dh tk ade ape yg die nak cume lah harta. Ape semua ni? Aku mmg dh tak boleh nk carry on dh td, terus keluar kjp menangis. Knp dorg sanggup buat mcm tu? Sedangkn anak arwah sendiri pon tak terhegeh2 nk harta semua. Sdare mara yg lebih2? Kalau ktorg yg sibuk settle kn hal2 harta ni korg cakap ktorg ketagih harta sgt. tp itu semua utk kepentingan ktorg. Ktorang ade hak ktorg sendiri, ibu tu ibu ktorg. Mak ngah bukan waris. Anak jugak yg paling penting. Sedih la bile jd mcm ni, aku pun tk boleh buat pape. Sbb tu lg stress dgr mcm ni sedih teringat ibu. Ibu dekat sane punye la menunggu doa dr anak2 diorang drpd org yg die syg. tp dekat dunia, keluarga2 terdekat semua dok sebok nk kejar harta? Itu yg paling aku sedih sgt. Mcm mn la tanggapan ibu bile tgk semua ni? Aku rase menyesal sangat. Aku byk sgt buat dosa dekat ibu. Mmg la tkde spe pun perfect dekat dunia ni. Tp aku dh tekad aku nk berubah. Padahal aku yg syg sgt ibu tp aku still buat dosa? From now on, aku akan make sure aku berubah sedikit demi sedikit. Tak perlu ckp la ape dosa2 aku. Tapi yg penting aku mmg byk buat dosa. Mesti ibu ckp 'rupe2 nye mcm ni anak aku. die syg aku tp knp die buat mcm tu?' tk boleh byg kn mcm mane die sedih. Ya Allah!! Knp lah sebak sgt dada ni. Aku dh tk boleh fikir ape2 dh skrg. Asyik teringat ibu je. Menyesal sgt sgt! Ibu, kin tk kesah pasal harta. Ekin dh tekad, im not going to be selfish from now on. Yg paling sedih bile dgr abg wan ckp td dekat akak and abglg 'abg buat semua ni utk adk2 kite. ekin and yana. masa depan dorg' rupe2 nye abg2, akk aku ambik berat tentang aku and adik aku. Sedih sgt bile fikir kn nasib aku and yana. especially yana, kak uda sayang sgt dekat yana. kak uda sbenanye mmg tk suke bile aunty layan yana mcm tu. kak uda sedih bile yana tggal sorg2 kt umh papa. kak uda tahu yana mesti lg rindu kn ibu. kak uda terfikir kn psl yana, mcm mn yana nk hadapi semua ni. yana lg la tktahu pape.

Sedih sangat. Dalam kepala otak ni tkde fikir lain dh semua nye psl ibu and family. kalau cerita dekat org selain dr family aku pun dorg maybe tak kan faham. So malas la aku nk menyusahkn dorg. Aku dh tktau nk ckp ape dh. Asyik terbayang muke ibu je. May Allah help me to get through all of this, amin.

AND YES, I'VE CHANGED. AND GUYS PLS I JUST NEED UR SUPPORT. I WONT MAKE IT WITHOUT U GUYS. I KNOW ITS A TOUGH DECISION. BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST AND TO TRY MY BEST ALL I NEED IS FROM U GUYS. I CANT DO IT ALONE. HOPE U GUYS UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION,TQ.

its easier said than done

2010-02-11T05:04:00.000-08:00

I've been faking these smiles for a long long time. I dont know what to say but im tired of everything, and sick of trying. at the end it still the same. This few days i kept thinking bout my family. i know there's something wrong bout it. For my dearest ex girlfriend, u can do whatever u like u can live with whom u like. I wont force u. U have ur own right to seek for ur happiness. The reason i say this is not because im goin to say 'sorry' or what. What i do was right. So accept the fact. I dont care what ppl gonna say. Its my life and i have my own authority to choose or to live with it. U're not my darina anymore. U've changed and i totally hate that new darina, its totally disgusting' for heaven sakes. so i guess i should just leave.

Well i obviously not satisfied with my results. Its totally crap and hell bad. urghhh.
I went out with adam last night it was just fine;) ohh yeah im goin to penang tonight with my friends actually i was just goin' there to accompany my sister for the make-up thingy but i was thinking that it would be more fun if i could go with my friends too. so i decided to ask them to join me and hell we're going to have a lots of fun there!:) i just miss the day we had fun together at auto-city. its still fresh in my mind hehehe.

i'll continue my story later, i gtg

Perasan

2010-02-06T02:51:00.000-08:00

Pity girl. Guys, darina thought that i was giving that status to her. For heaven sakes, puhles. I am so not gonna wasting my time talking bullshit about her. Its like, do i get paid? Duhhhh. Such a silly girl Toodles

IMMATURE

2010-01-31T23:47:00.000-08:00

WHAT A POOR LIL GIRL WHO NEED SOME ATTENTION FROM ME. I DONT KNOW WHY SHE DID THIS. WELL HONEY, NICE TRY.

Cookie Monster: hello , weh , aku nak tanye sikit ni .

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: amende?

Cookie Monster: asal kau tak suka aku and tak kasi renee tegur aku

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: bile mase plak aku tak kasi renee tegur kau

Cookie Monster: masa aku dtg harituh

Cookie Monster: and kenape tak suka aku

Cookie Monster: aku nak tahu je

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: xd bile mase la aku tk bg die tegur kau

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: aku tk suke kau ke aku ske kau ke suke hati aku la

Cookie Monster: kau boleh jangan kurang ajar boleh tak

Cookie Monster: aku tanya elok elok

Cookie Monster: buat mase skrg , mmg rmai kawan kau , tapi , aku pasti , kau besar nanti , semua tinggalkan kau ,

Cookie Monster: orang mcm kau mmg tak pndai nak respect budak

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: aku kuang aja amende ha?

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: aku ckp benda betul la

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: so?

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: ade ape masalah dgn kau ke kalau dorg tggal aku ke ape

Cookie Monster: hey

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: tk respect amende? sejak bile aku brgaul dgn kau

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: bile mse plak aku xrespect kau

Cookie Monster: aku just cakap lah

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: aku pun just ckp la

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: duhh

Cookie Monster: aku nak ckap dgn kau , kau jgn terase and ape ape plak dgn aku

Cookie Monster: sumpah aku ckp ,

Cookie Monster: kawan aku sorang ni , kate kau cepat perasan and trlalu sensetive , kau tak payah nak ckp suka hati kau ke ap

Cookie Monster: kau tak pernah nak dengar ap orang ckp

Cookie Monster: kau bajet hot

Cookie Monster: kau bajet kau sorang je lawa

Cookie Monster: kau bajet semua laki nk kat kau

Cookie Monster: kau bajet semua orang nak kawan kau

Cookie Monster: kau bajet kau bagus sngt

Cookie Monster: kau bajet kau matang sngt

Cookie Monster: kau bajet kau ad kebahagiann

Cookie Monster: that all ,

Cookie Monster: aku nak off

Cookie Monster: suka hati ah

Cookie Monster: bye

Cookie Monster: tolong fikir ap pasal kau

Cookie Monster: kalau mcm ni

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: so?

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: kalau aku mcm tu pn

Cookie Monster: sampai bila , takde orang suka kau

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: yg kwn kau sibuk sgt nk cite apsl?

Cookie Monster: there no fuckin SO

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: aku tk kesah la wei

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: korg ckp ape

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: ckp la

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: mulutorg aku tkleh tutup

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: kesian do

Cookie Monster: kitaorang ckp ap yang kita orang nak ckp

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: ckp ke tk ckp ke

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: same je

Cookie Monster: kau dengar ke tak nak dengar , pegi mati ah

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: malas do nk layan korg ni

Cookie Monster: asal kitaorang nak cakap kau mesti nak menang

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: eh of course

Cookie Monster: IT ALL OF WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT , CAN MAKE PEOPLE FUCK YOU

Cookie Monster: okay selesai

Cookie Monster: bye

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: hahah

Cookie Monster: aku harap

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: what a broken english u got there honey

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: its okay

Cookie Monster: kau dpt blasan

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: toodles

Cookie Monster: kau bajet eng kau bagus ah

Cookie Monster: mampus aku ah eng aku mcm mane

Cookie Monster: tak susah kan kau pun

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: haha aku dpt balasan? bukan nye aku bunuh korg ke ape yg aku nk dpt balasan

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: haihhhhh

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: kesian

Cookie Monster: aku paling sian kat orang mcm kau

Cookie Monster: otak tak de

Cookie Monster: kesian

Cookie Monster: kesian

Cookie Monster:

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: hahaha otak takde? alololololo nice try honey.

Cookie Monster: whatever

Cookie Monster: whatever

Cookie Monster: whatever

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: whatever u back honey

Cookie Monster: hah

Cookie Monster: eng kau pun tak betul

Cookie Monster: kau tak fikir ap mak kau rase ke

Cookie Monster: aku pelik dgn kau

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: hahahha u just dont understand what i mean is 'whatever' u back

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: mak aku rase?

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: huhh pls la.

Cookie Monster: yeah

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: kau tkyh nk sebut pasal mak aku kt sini

Cookie Monster: aku rase kau tak syg mak kau

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: tkd kena mengena dgn kau

Cookie Monster: pegi mati ah aku nak ckp ke tak

Cookie Monster: okay bye..

fahrinismorehansomethanyou: so kalau kau rase mcm tu? suke hati kau la. xd bg ape2 effect pn kt aku
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He ate my heart
He a-a-ate my heart 'you little monster Hahahahahah

a boring day of Friday

2010-01-29T06:49:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, i cant stop thinking bout my mom. I just wish i could roll back the times :'( hmm well today was quite tired and totally hot ("wuw malaysia so hot!"). I am now at my dad's house listening to music while chatting with my friends and blogging. Yana went for vacation with atuk. My 'beloved' stepmom just went out just now with aqeel and 'dugung' to cinema. Pfftttt. Im so touched with this two songs. I kept repeating the same song :( Hmmm and my stomach, urghh totally in pain i tell you :x

Well i am not trying to show off or anything but today in bm class, pn noraini took my paper as one of the best essay's in the class. To be real, im kinda tersipu malu(in other words, 'kembang') sekejap td and renee keep on teasing me what the fuck man Huhh. Pn noraini told them bout the new teachers and they dont know who is he so i showed them the way that new teacher trademark i mean his shoulder is bongkok Hahahahahahah and suddenly pn noraini 'awak ni tak baik la hahahahaha' hahaha and renee cant stop laughing and followed with the ppl in the class damn it hahahaha. Renee got that freaking stupid flu and she's like 'huh leng chai got tissue ha? gimme one' she keep on asking that guy the same damn thing hahahah Poor lil girl, jibaoooook

And yet, im still listening to 'i want to know what love is' lalalalalalalal~

Lenjun day

2010-01-27T03:38:00.000-08:00

This is about fahrin, yeah yesterday. Serious shit i am so fucking bengang with those fitnah they had told to media. Well nothing much happened bout yesterday but guess what? Hahahah renee mandi hujan semalam and she's looking so sexy and hot! Hhahaha dayummmm u're sexy chick! I just spilled the mineral water at her hair hahahah serves u right. At 1st, she's planning to buy the ice cream, she ask for via's money then when she turn back the ice cream man already gone (i want u to know tht it doesnt matter where we take this road some1 gotta go and i want u to know im already gone lalalalal~)Hahahhahaha that's totally funny Seriously FUNNY i cant stop laughing hahahahahahahahahahahah

u guys should see this *CSL

habis basah lenjun rmbut die wuuuuu dayumm!

*muatan besar and also beg besar 'a great combination :P

Ohhh btw i forgot to tell u guys last 4days i went to mid buying some bra's with my sister, my family also with us. We had our dinner at american chilli's (as usual). I cant stop thinking bout the most delicious chocolate fonte that we had there. Urghhhh totally fats!!

&&&i miss this

I miss the talks we used to have, I miss the voice I used to hear. I miss hearing your crazy but cool stories, and above all these, I just miss you! Hmpppppppp *flash back mode

Hmmm

2010-01-25T05:34:00.000-08:00

Well today nothing much fun and its been 6days already he didn't msg me. Its okay, whatever it is i just have to accept everything because everything happened for reason, isn't? So, im thinking positive. Mygawd serious shit i dont think i can go on with addmaths Im fucking serious damn it its totally hard for me okay. But my sister didn't gimme permission to drop that subject urghhhh what a freaking sister pfffftttt(i didn't mean it akak.sorry no hearts feeling) and btw Wan Nadiah please dont take it serious me and renee was just joking that's our job i mean we're always like that right? Like u don't know us? Our typical attitude who loves to laugh about ppl's fault and what's the big deal anyway? Its just a small matter okay please and if u're making that face again, im freaking seriously going to repeat the same thing again =) *dont make me hurt u kehkehkeh

Hmmm well i didnt even watch anything bout fahrin's issues. Maybe tomorrow or tonight he'll update bout that and im still waiting for that. I don't have much time to watch tv in kakak's hse. Its totally boring*renee

Oh btw im on diet back right now. and i dont wanna join that stupid cheer with those stupid chinese girls who thinks that they can dance and thinks that the group is their's especially the captain! damnnn she's totally annoying her face is like urghhh WHAT THE FISH EVER *annoyed
Hmmm i saw hzq at bukit jalil just now damn he's getting bigger and bigger *miss you alots anja!

I gotta go and im still coughing urghhh cant stand it. Tomorrow is the most excitement day, cant wait! cuz there's a 'lots of tits' after school. Im going to buy it miss the ice blended already :(
for god sakes did i just said 'i gotta go' just now? So i guess i am seriously 'gotta go'. Fahrin, hope u'll just be fine okay. Love you always<3

Wait wait i forgot to tell u guys about the other day when i had this bad day having the flu,the cough,fever and all of em. The 1st day is on monday last week, i dont feel so good on that day but ive already reach to school so i think i can still go through it. but suddenly after recess i just vomit in the school stairs omygod that's totally embarrassing me. I already msg kakak to pick me up at school but she didnt replied my msg but 5mins afta the incident kakak ask me im in what class so i told her '4 gemilang'. about 20mins after that kakak picked me up. and guess what?!! Renee laugh at me 1st after helping me up on the stairs what the fuck man thank god i didnt act like darina who was merajuk with renee on the other day *hahaha sorry darina. and renee took the picture of my 'freaking geli muntah'

ewww totally disgusting right? erghhh i know that!

and my menu for 2 days i didnt go to school is this>>>

Thank you kakak*love love love

too much

2010-01-23T23:12:00.000-08:00

Im totally pissed off bout this bullshits story in paper today. What the fuck man, seriously just stop it. You guys are totally desperate! Im so pity of you guys. On how you guys talked bout him. Seriously, it will harm ur self not him. He's just doing his thing and he's doing the right thing. Yes, good fr u guys. Before this he didnt do anything but now u guys are acting way too much so just wait and see.

Dear fahrin, just take it easy everything happened for reason i know you can get through all of this stupid story. U're way too matured too get through this. I know you and im praying the best for you. Just calm down okay. Im with you, always, through good and bad! May Allah bless you and sorry for my outspoken words. Seriously i cant control my temper. They're way too much. Sorry again for my words and all the best for you!

Love you always!!

with lots of love, ekin.

Lame saturday!

2010-01-23T03:42:00.000-08:00

Its been 4 days he didnt msg me. Even one msg. I guess theres nothing between me and him anymore hmmm Yeah theres come this part when the guy dumped the girl and the girl was like 'what the? did he just dumped me? am i the DUMB one?' well actually I dont mind about it anyway its just that i think thats enough for me. To be frankly, too much guys cheated on me this past years. They're like snakes 'berputar belit'. Get what i mean?
Yeahh its too hard for me to find the perfect one cause as you all know nobody's perfect Isnt? So do I. So, from now on i dont think having a boyfriend is a good thing. Cause at the end, im the one who will be lonely and thats totally lame. So, how about from now on(yea yea yea and again, i kept saying 'from now on'), im having an open relationship. Have fun with anyone i want thats more cool. I mean theres no rules. So if you want me then good, we're cool here. I love you, you love me. thats how its gonna be now. But if u dont love me, then leave. So, its simple. You can do whatever u want, and i can do whatever i want. freedom isnt? Oh sorry? u're not thinking that this is a relationship? a love? Ooo i see now u're talking bout love isnt? Wow how impressed! U just talked about love? I mean from this past years u dumped me. Its like when it comes to 'you' i just can say "yeahh, he'll dump me one day..again. thats for sure" do u know why my mind said that? cause u've been doing the same damn thing over and over again ahh man dont ever ask bout me. Seriously, i just need my space i can do whatever i want as long as i didnt sleep with other guys. thats my way, so get used to it. What so bad bout me? I was thinking how bout u and other girls out there? Huh dont talk bullshit. Guys are just the same. So im here to say, from now on(yeahh again, hahaha), i'll not stalking u or i'll not get angry with you if you are with other girls i'll assume u're having an open relationship like me. Okay? Seriously i wont get mad about it. Im happy if you happy okay bby? SO whatever it is, we are still us dont worry i wont do anything stupid. Its like we both are good nothings happen. btw i miss you so much. *wtf wei i've been blogging macam sial la pulak die nak bace haha theres no way la kan die nak bace he dont even know my url hahah wak lu die nak bace jangan nk ting tong sgt la aku ni kan

back to our topic, well baby seriously im serious bout this. So hope we're still us. Im still me. I miss ur cute lil face while driving it makes me wanna kiss you:P and dayummmmmm just now i got an exam at school. The exam was like? erkkkkkk totally easy. yeah right easy kepala easy la sangat. Dah weng abis dh pecah otak fikir buat maths td *all of sudden tetibe tuka language hahahahah
well ini la name nye 1 malaysia. what the fuck? Im babbling? my prada! thats totally ewww *im pissed off with my fucking mouse who doesn't know how to stay at 1 place what the hell for god sakes its like moving here and there what the fuck and what the hell is happening to me? i kept saying what the fuck, from now on. Oh my louis vuitton! Cracked.

Well my flu and my cough not yet good still in process. for godsakes i cant stand this 'sengau'. tonight im goin to live centre. having fun with my darina damn its been almost 1week i didnt have much time to hanging out with my buddy s chill here chill there 1tequila 2tequila 3tequila then droooooooooooooooooooooooooooop! Hahaha guess what? im stealing papa's solvil titus wuuuuuu I looooike dont get jealous renee if u read this :-P

Typical Sunday!

2010-01-16T18:23:00.000-08:00

Morning!!! *yawn
Damn, i forgot bout the letters. Shit! How am i gonna face norani tommorow? Damn it damn it. Okay ekin chill. No need to worry. Haha yesterday renee told me that she saw chan and her son at tesco. Ohmyprada! Tesco? What the hell u doing in tesco my dear renee? So so lame -__- Yea yea yea fine, u're following ur 'cousin from kg' isnt? Hahahaha *CSL
Seriously i cant stop laughing bout the video wei. Serious shit. and also the 'ikan lemas' i've edited from video to picture. Hahahah cant wait to meet u at school. I'll surely set the picture as my default hp.

Still remember that pirate girl? Who got something on her face? Hahaha
Aziz is cute!!! Our jr, mygod. Did i told u bout him? Well, its weird cuz he's using my dad's name. Hahah 0__0

Well, love has taught me and love has changed me since we've met, when i knew you were the only man i ever really loved. From the start i could see us together and i heard my heart say, "I am going to marry him" (this was even before our first date!) i was shocked, (You were not my type!) but i was happy.

When expectations grew, my egotistical, selfish personality took over and my love for you became "conditional." I was torn and confused and i did not understand the love/hate relationship that was developing between us, so i broke up with you. (Better i do this then to go through hell with someone who did not love me.) Yet, after breaking up, I hurt every day for so long. I cried every night for several weeks. I hoped by some miracle you might intuitively know this. I did not believe the break-up might hurt you because, falsely, I believed you had no feelings for me. After the break up, i did not know where to go or what to do ;0

I've known you for a long years, and through those years i have learned so much about you. I've found out so many things that hurt me and pleased me all in the same token. On how u left me all the time, taking for granted bout me and all those things.

I've watched you grow from a silly, arrogant, cocky freshman, to a fine, sexy and responsible young man. and for that I'm grateful (even though you may not see it).

U may think i didn't notice bout that. But frankly, I did! Its okay, maybe i just have to forget bout you silently without you knowing ;0 *gasping for air

sebak

2010-01-16T05:21:00.000-08:00

Yeaa this is the fact bout my life. Everyone always demanding the best from me. But, do they knows how i feel? Its easier said than done. No one knows how hectic it is. You cant just keep saying that Im still me, im the baddest as u can see. Its not like what u think. I've changed okay. See? No one cares rite? I know whatever it is, my mom is always the best than anyone. No one can loves me like she did.

there's the different between u and me. i've lost my mom. i've been struggling to survive without her. u are way too different with me. so u cant simply said that. without her, its like im living my life all by myself, alone. I dont deserve this. I cant stand this, ya allah. i just want my old life back. its killing me. Ibu, please come home. I mean come back. i need u everyday of my life *crying

i thought, having you here by my side could change my 'sadness life' but this few days i couldnt take it anymore. whatever situation it is, i just need ur support please. thats all im begging you. Please. just give me some support.

Ibu, there's no one i can manja with. Its killing me. I know i shouldnt act like this. But, i just hmmmm.
Tktau nk ckp ape dh. Dah speechless dah. Ibu please la, tolong la. please la. I really wanna meet u ;'(
Rindu semua psl ibu. Dh tkd dh nk kelua dgn ibu. Sedih sangat sangat. All this time, ive been pretending to be happy. I just cant show my silly face crying because of u. They would think that im begging for their sympathy. Im not like those typical girls who need an intention from everyone. Maybe i should just keep this as a secret i mean just me and Allah knows everything. how much i miss you and how much i need ibu right now :(

all of sudden

2010-01-09T12:22:00.000-08:00

Suddenly missing you, for about a couple of weeks we didn't had any conversation? What is happening to us? Okay its all because of me, is it? Hmm, well i miss you. I miss US. Hope u'll be fine without me okay? I had this instinct telling me that u got someone else *sigh
Hope it wont be happening ;x

still remember this?

2010-01-09T04:15:00.000-08:00

What the fuck?

2010-01-09T03:48:00.000-08:00

Aku memang dah abis bengang dengan pompuan ni. Mmg dh melebih-lebih. Pukul 5 aku dah kejut papa nak pegi jogging. of course la si babi tu pun pegi sekali(sape lagi, mak tiri aku la). lepas tu dah pukul 6 baru nak kua rumah. Memang sial. Dari tadi tak nak semayang dah nak kua baru nak semayang WHAT THE FUCK? pukimak sial la pompuan ni. Mmg ruin mood aku je. Tergedek2 sumpah mmg fucked up gila dgn mak tiri aku mmg sial fucker! Smpai2 bkt jalil dh pkul 6.50 pastu hujan. Mmg sial mmg sial. Kalau dah aku benci kau, mmg smpai bile2 aku benci kau Sial punye pompuan. Dah la kacau rumah tangga org jgn nk menggelabah la kau ingat sikit dulu kau dtg sini cikai gila tak kenal langsung ape2. skg jgn banyak cerita. U're so not my mother okay! Pehlesssss back off! I hate you so much. Menyemak je dalam hidup aku, annoying! I HATE U FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! FUCKER! Dont act like u're so fucking kind because the fact U'RE NOT! FUCK U!
*memang pissed off gila

Saturday and my baby Louis Vuitton Damier Trevi PM

2010-01-09T01:18:00.000-08:00

Well nothing much fun. Just now me and my sister go for a movie, cirque du freak the vampire assistant.

Well darren is sooo handsome and cute! Overall the movie totally funny cant stop laughing the way they act in the movie. eventhough the story is quiet hard to understand but still fun.

And shit, guess what? Kakak spilled some nasty cofee in my expensive LV what the fish? Im totally pissed off just now. I cant stop thinking bout that incident. Once i arrived home i took a glass of water and clean up the handbag' kinda frustrated because its a LEATHER okay?! Omygosh it cost my mom about 7k just to buy that LV. Get what i mean? Urghh. And dry it up with hairdryer Dont laugh. its not even funny okay. I have to. The 1st picture i took from google. And this is what happened to mine. Damn it

Im so sorry ibu:'( I didnt mean to do that. Im careless! Im so sorry. Im going to jog, inform u later bout my bby okay, Xoxxo

2010

2010-01-08T00:49:00.000-08:00

I've been busy lately. Sorry okay for not updating. Well, school was awesome and darn great! The 1st day i met renee and her hair was like? Hahahahah the mushroom is totally expensive okay. I cant stop laughing looking at her face, and everything bout her. I miss her serious shit man. And we got same class. oh yea im in the prinsip akaun class. Wuwww thats really creepy man ;X 'that is so not me'. thats not my decision. our school select and put us on that class we cant make any decision Fuck man. And this year lai lai is taking over low's place. urgh shit i hate this. Everyday in class me and renee was like so crazy. CSL bout the jokes we laughed at. Hahahahahahahah.

*part kelaka time renee kena tarik rmbut and she do that 'ikan lemas' face hahahahahahahahahah

Damn it, just u to know me and H broke up olredi. There's nothing i can say more just....Hmm nothing. Hope he'll be fine without me.

Miss my ibu so badly ;'(

till then, Xoxxo

Gerun

2009-11-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

Gosh, pmr result is on their way. Oh my prada! Takut sgt la, hopefully i'll get straight a's. Mesti nnt time pegi amik tu sume ade yg menangis, happy. mygodd takut nye. Hopefully papa wont be mad at me. and harap sgt sgt tkde yg F ;( Ya Allah, Amin. guys, kwn2, bersiap sedia la ye nk amik result my gucci, my gucci. tk terkata ni. Takut ya amat. Ishhhhhhhhh! Somebody call 911!

I hate you Renee

2009-11-30T09:03:00.000-08:00

You're so whatever! Mengade ngade, aku ckp lain kau ckp lain. U're being so whtever urghhh. Its not funny renee, its not even in the same zip code as funny! Im serious and u're trying to create some bullshit story. WHAT THE? I hate you I hate you I hate you mengade sgt kn kate out of credit la ape la Okay fine, i wont pick up ur call dh lepas ni Toodles~

"DONT TELL ME U'RE SORRY CUZ U'RE NOT. BABY WHEN I KNOW U'RE ONLY SORRY U GOT CAUGHT"

Its killing me ;S

2009-11-30T04:59:00.000-08:00

Today is my 1st day period, and it was like so pain! urghhh, i just dnt know wht to do. I think i need to buy the panadol menstrual. Oh not again,, knp la hr ni yg dtg. Shitt-eman. Sakit perut gile la huh.

Fahrin did told me bout the complicated relationship, jgn la ckp mcm tu sume and tak sihat la kalau mcm ni. I didn't tell him the actual situation, i just told him tht it was just a song and nothing to worry bout. and he told me to look at his new pictures at Bangkok. Die peg sne because of shooting if im not mistaken.

gtg perut dh start meragam la
Love always,ekin

Finally

2009-11-29T18:34:00.000-08:00

and i was like wht the? He ask me to jgn fkir bukan2? Sush sgt ke nk msg dlu sblm kelua ke ap. Kalau la tbe2 ke die accident ke ap, pastu aku tktau. nk macam tu? I was just trying to take care bout him, at least pinjam la hp kwn2 nk send 1msg pn tk boleh? I am not stupid la! this is so ridiculous u know? I dnt know how many excuses u want to gimme after this. Just enough, if u r not into this shit just say it. I can deal with it, I hate this.

Worried bout papa :'(

2009-11-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

I just got call from kelantan bout papa. Suddenly papa pulak kena mcm Aqeel sakit muntah2 lepas tu tk larat. He was so sick and tk larat entah mcm mne die terjatuh dlm tandas tk sedar. Smlm papa almost nk pitam so admitted hospital kat sne. Tktau la skrg mcm mne condition die, didnt get any call from him. And worried sgt psl papa tah mcm mn la die dkt sne dgn org rmai nye papa dh la rimas kalau rmai2 org lagi2 die tgh tk larat skg.

Serious i am so benggang with aunty! Die dh tau hari tu Aqeel pn tk larat, nk jugk take risk balik. Tk bole nk fkir ke mane baik mne buruk? Dh la dh beli ticket flight balik, skg ni kalau papa tk boleh klua lg hospital by tuesday mcm mne? ticket tu trpkse burn la? This is all because of you aunty. Then bile plk nk balik KL? nk ckp gune citra mmg tak la dgn papa tk larat dh la journey jauh dr kelantan to KL and plus all this flood thingy. Oh my gucci, mmg sial gile kn? Pastu nk kena plk ble ticket bru. This is all shit man! I swear, if anything happen dkat papa she will get it back twice! traitorous bitch! MF

gtg, lg lame aku ckp psl ni lg mrh aku dkt pmpuan tu.

Love always, ekin.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha

2009-11-26T16:34:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, selamat hari raya! Sedih nye dgr takbir raya dr semalam. Sedih ingat ibu:'( Hmm im still at papa hse. kejap lg papa/akk yg hanta me and my sister+bibik dkt rumat atuk. Papa nk balik kelantan hr ni, flight die pkul 8 kot. Hmmm sakit nye perut urghh spoil mood kejap. Btw, mlm ni nur kasih episod last Gosh tk sbr nk tgk mesti sedih gila. and soon dvd die pn nk klua i must buy it:)

Smlm aku mimpi ibu. pergi minum strbucks ddn ibu dpt duduk sbelah die plak tu. Happy sgt2. Hopefully mlm ni pn mimpi ibu jugk Amin~

Well, new moon smlm omg it was like so fantastic ok! Gile la best. and me and yana was like so crazy in the cinema hahaha.some scene tht i like "i promise this will be the last time u will see me, dont do anything reckless"-Edward
yg paling tk tahan skali at the end of the story die ckp "marry me pls,bella?" omygod! Then abis. cant wait fr eclipse,breaking dawn1&2. From wht i heard from akk, die ckp eclipse byk psl jacob and how they fight with victoria. and breaking dawn nnt time bella pregnant it takes 2 weeks je perut die dh besar and time tu edward tuka kn bella jd vampire and guess wht? bella is more stronger than Edward:) woww tk sbr nk tgk time bella jd vampire pehhh

Ok la gtg im goin 2 mandi and msg my baby<3

"

again and again

2009-11-25T06:24:00.000-08:00

We had a fight since this morning till now. I dont know why he's acting like so mad to me. Did i did something wrong to him? Pls, i cant stand this. and every single mistakes tht he had done he will ask me an apology but then again he still do the same mistakes again. I mean, why in the world or i should suffer this? I love him so much cant he even understand me? I cant stop crying thinking bout this. I didnt even reply his msgs, i dont feel like want to:(

Sakit perut sgt2 la hari ni, dr td sakit. dh mkn pn sakit. mygosh its killing me. and the worst part kakak dh berbaik dgn abg syam 'i dont know wht to say!' gosh wht happen? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lets just forget about all of this. i dont care tp yg paling geram die nk tdo dlm. then where shud i sleep? Huh!! pls la
I hate my life! I hate everything. I just miss ibu:'(

Salam~

DAMN

2009-11-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

Huh for real, i cant stand this. Its killing me u know? I think i better go to the clinic to check :0 Hmm yesterday, my hse got black out Dang! I was like so takut ok? everyone dh tdo and im the one yg terjaga. Shitteemannnn. Today papa is goin back to kelantan. Hmm bye bye aunty gefedikfikk Hahahahah. And tomorrow guess what? OMgehhhhhh hahhaha im goin to watch this fantastic movie jeng jeng jeng. Jgn mrahhh/jealous hehehe.

cant wait to watch that movie:P Sam- "easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" hahahahah

gtg, i'll keep updating

Love always,

ekin.

Im sorry- i did this few things because of...

2009-11-23T22:22:00.000-08:00

I really had a sleepless night, moving here and there on my bed and thinking bout what happen to us last night. I least expected it, I experienced the worst headache ever, all i could hear was my heart beating much faster than it ever has.

We all made mistakes not trying to understand each other, some words did hurt in. I know it's been hard for you trying to understand the typical of me.

I know we both said so many things to each other that we least expected, trying to find out the truth about something, it's really hard and needs much time, but i guess i got carried away by saying those words to you. i know you said you forgive me, but the fact u wont frgive me rite? i disappoint you. I've regretted saying those things to you and being the first girl to have said this to you also hurts me a lot. Whether you accept my apology or not *I'm truly sorry for my harsh and unpleasant words bout last night*

For now, I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for hurting you last night:'( I'm really confused about everything hd happened to me. I want things to be stable but i dont know how or when shud i start. I love you so much and never will I think that I can forget you. I remain yours.

This few days, i got this feelings. My fmly? They dont even bother bout me. Thts wht hurts me most of the time. papa got his own life with his wife and also his son&daughter. Eventhough i always go to papa hse but then again i dont feel like im in the family anymore. Abg wan with his family. Abglg got his own life too, with his friends. And me? with akk. As usual, she dont hv much time with me. her work and etc. So im the one who stuck alone at home? while, yana happy dkt rumah dgn aqeel bibik. Abglg dgn kwn2 die. at least they still got smething to do or to chill out. wht about me? Am i the only one who deserve this? I dont think so. Everyday, i spent the rest of my day, usually, stayed at home. watching tv, kemas rumah, tidur. I dnt hve any of my life anymore. Kakk pn usually balik lmbt. kalau balik pn msak je. Rase mcm dh tk brgune dh kt sni. And u all never know how i survive my life without ibu. all u can see is tht i've changed to be a bad girl. did you know why i turned to this way? because of u all. u never cared bout me, all u guys know is to judge me how bad i am. u guys r being so unsupported. I feel im just a piece of shit and no one cares. So why shud u bother bout me? Im a bad person rite? then why u still want to judge bout my pathetic life. mybe one day if u all rse how i rase then u all will know how hurt it is to be like this. Thts why aku tk boleh being alone. bile jd mcm tu, aku sedih. sbb most of the time aku mmg sendri. as if like hidup aku ni mmg sndri. ap2 buat sndri. aku pn tk penah hidup mcm ni. I am still young, i dont dserve in this life where i should buy anything sendiri. sblum ni sume nye dh sedia, tp suddenly ibu tkde. sume dh brubah. sume kena buat sndri. I dont want this life. Susah la nk ckp, korg tk kn faham. I hate you guys! and if aku cerita pn korg akn rse bnda ni complicated and will never FAHAM. so lebih baik aku tk cerita. eventhough lg perit simpan, but its okay. i can handle it. Kalau ibu ade dkt sini, tentu tk jd mcm ni. tkde la rumah tu sunyi, tkde spe. rindu mkn dgn ibu. Rindu everything about ibu. I am so sad rite now, i just wish ibu ade dekat sini and peluk like ibu selalu peluk.
Sedih sgt, i gtg i dont want anyone to know tht i am sad. Seriously, susah la. Aku tk boleh nk tnjuk dkt org aku sedih. mcm aku ni ketagih simpati dkt org lain. aku tk nk org anggap aku mcm tu. So please fhm.

Love always,
ekin.

better in time - leona lewis

2009-10-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

Tgh dok dgr lgu leona lewis-i will be, tbe2 teringat balik lagu better in time. Lagu tu mmg membuat kn ingt kt ibu. sbb time ibu msuk icu time sakit sume, lgu tu tgh popular kt radio and bile tgk balik lyric die mmg sedih and mcm situation aku. tk kesh la kalau kt mn2 pn aku peg kalau dgr kgu ni msti sedih n menangis. Complicated utk org fhm. rindu sgt dkt ibu. mlm sblm pmr teringat time UPSR, ibu siap bg air zam-zam msg good luck semua tp skg dh tkde. 1st day pmr even papa pn tk wish. lg plak dok umh akk, mmg xd sp nk ckp good luck ke ape. yg paling menyedihkn pg2 tu pegi skola sume dgn ibu dorg. time rehat pn mk ayh dorg dtg bwk makanan and aku? just alone. even ad mk dorg tk dtg mcm renee and darina. tp mk dorg still call tye mcm mne jwb paper? aku sbelah dgr tahan je. time nk msuk dewan, mak ayh dorg sume berdiri kt tepi tu, and aku was like? tunduk je tahan sebak ni. aku punye la berdoa supaya dpt tabah terima sume dugaan ni. and smlm gembira sgt, eventho ia bukn realiti tp aku dpt rse aku dgn ibu. xtau la plak dsbbkn aku trlalu rindu ke dkt ibu ataupn mmg doa aku dmakbulkn dpt jumpe ibu. smlm aku mimpi aku bru lepas buat exam, ibu dtg amik bwk balik peg mkn. lepas tu hntr msuk dewan exactly mcm mn yg 1st day pmr tu. ibu siap tye lg mcm mne paper sume. aku boleh rse kn mcm btl2. tbe2 trbgn and terus sedih sbb aku menghrpkn bnda tu realiti tp ape kn daya. Hanya tuhan yg maha berkuasa. mmg dh di takdir kn aku tk kn jumpe ibu dh buat selama-lamanya :'(

pantai medical centre - a night to remember

2009-09-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

As i look around this hospital, i can barely breath and thinking about d past. where all of my family waiting here about a couple of weeks because of my mom illness. i can say that the memories are still fresh on my mind. I still remember when i took her fr a walk with the wheel chair. and rite now im at the same hospital where my mom hd passed away on the emergency section. But im here because of my sister who had a pneumonia. she still baby. looking her sick like tht is the most hardest thing to do. I am so pity to her. Now is about 8.45pm and i am still at d starbucks. waiting fr my brother to come here. Hmm i miss my ibu so badly. I just wish she was here :( i cant do anything other than crying. i just cant stand it. Ibu, if u were here right beside me, i just wanna hug u as long as i can. kiss u,and tell u to pls stay with me :'(

"Ya Allah ya tuhanku kau tabahkanlah hati aku dgn segala cabaran dan dugaan yg kau berikan. Aku memohon kpd kau ampunilah dosa ibuku YaAllah ya tuhanku.tempatkanlah die di syurga mu.jauhilah die dr azab api neraka mu dan azab kubur mu. tenangkn lah roh nya YaAllah ya tuhan ku yg maha pemurah lagi maha pengasih. Kau berilah cahaya di kuburnya YaAllah ya tuhanku supaya die berasa selesa di sana.Aku memohon supaya memakbulkan doaku ini sesungguhnya kau maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang.Amin"

Ibu,kalau ibu ad kt sni mesti skg kite dh sibuk beli2 brg utk raya, kin bukn tk brsyukur dgn segala pemberian papa. tp ibu and papa is a 2 different things. ibu ade cara ibu, n papa pn ade cara papa. kalau dgn ibu peg brshopping, ibu tk pnah merungut nk beli ape2. ibu ikut kn je hati ktorg. Malah,ibu yg ajk ktorg slalu peg shopping.ibu salu pegi dgn ekin. nk beli LV ke,nk beli coach ke,beli Braun Buffel and byk lg. ibu salu pegi dgn kin and ibu salu tye opinian ekin. Ekin yg byk spend time dgn ibu. sbb tu bile dtg je hari raya even hari2 biase. ekin msti teringat kn ibu. Its like, hidup seharian ekin yg dulu dh betul2 berubah. dlu even hari biase pn kte selalu kua n ibu tk benti2 shopping. ekin pn ikut kn je kerenah ibu sbb ekin pun ske shopping n ske tgk ibu happy brshopping wlaupn kdg2 ibu sukar nk kelua kn duit dr pocket because of trlmpau byk kte shopping. kin sedih sgt teringat hari terakhir kin kelua sama2 dgn ibu berdua. pergi gardens. ibu nk bayar bill maxis and ibu topup ekin Rm100. kin still ingat lg, kin tk pnh lupa psl tu. wlaupun time tu ibu tk larat, tp ibu still nk peg sne. ekin tk penah nk mrh ibu sbb ibu jalan pelahan2 and kin siap papah ibu jalan. kin tk expect yg hari tu adalah hr terakhir kte spend time sme2. tp lepas ibu meninggal ekin bru realize lepas abg boy cte kt kin psl hari yg kte klua tu. Rupe2 nye abg boy ckp ibu yg mintak abg boy amik kin n jgn bwk sp2(tp abg boy pn ikut cuma die tk kua skali because die just bwk keta). die ckp dgn abg boy die nk spend time dgn ekin je buat hari tu. Bile kin dgr cte abg boy, mengalir air mata ekin. even kin tgh type ni pon air mata dh mengalir. sedih sgt teringat ibu sambil dgr lagu song for mama. lagu ni mmg sgt sedih n menyentuh hati. ibu kin rindu sgt ibu, berapa hari lg kin nk Pmr. mcm hidup ni miserable gile tkde ibu. kalau ibu ade, sblum exam ibu mesti sediakn kin air zamzam. and kalau kin exam kin msti msg ibu supaya doakn kin cemerlang. ibu mesti reply balik insyallah anak ibu akan cemerlang ibu doakn. kin rindu sgt semua tu. smpai skrg, to be real kin still tk pcye and xboleh accept permegian ibu. Ibu, kalau lah ibu ad kt sbelah kin skrg n nampak ap yg kin tulis ni, pulanglah ibu. anakmu merindukn mu dan memerlukanmu setiap saat,setiap minit,setiap jam,setiap hari setiap masa!

**Bile tgk balik lirik lgu ni mmg sedih and lg brtmbh rindu dkt ibu...

Oh! Ibu.
Kau disiram bayu pagi
Kehilangan terasa kini
Dan kesepian

Dan aku
Bagai purnama gerhana
Di ibarat lautan kering
Tiada tempat ku layarkan
Hasratku ini
Masih belum sempat
Kubuktikannya kepadamu
Ibu tersayang
Kucurahkan rasa hati

Ku tatapi potret mu berulang kali
Kurenungkan kalimah yang diberi
Tuhan Yang Esa
Ampuni dosa ibu
Tempatkan mereka
Di antara kekasih kekasihMu

Oh! Ibu
Kau kasih sejati
Kutaburkan doa
Untukmu ibu
Ampunilah dosaku
Sejak ku dilahirkan
Hingga akhir hayatmu

Saat ini
Kuteruskan hidup
Tanpa bersamamu ibu

N-O-P

2009-09-12T03:45:00.000-07:00

Aqeelah admitted hospital yesterday because of her lungs affected. n i was so pity about her condition right now. although i got this 'berak hitam' thingy i'd still calm and dont wanna make things more complicated. and today guess wht? aqeel got this wierd disease if you see this picture u might be wondering wht is happening to his penis. i am so curious about this. can someone gimme some opinion?

though, i am still studying fr my next coming pmr. eventhough i am so worried about my exam but still, i am really keeping this as a secret i do not want ppl or any of em know about my problems. enough papa with this problems, and plus aqeel. I just wish ibu were here and gimme those kata2 semangat:(

Its almost 7 rite now i think i should be prepare fr buka puase

Ooh mygodnesss

2009-09-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

Hmm guess wht? hr ni pn aku tk g skola pg td teruk gile sakit pastu g clinic doctor bg ubt yg dos die tggi skit pstu die kate kalau lepas ni aku berak then kua najis wrna hitam terus pegi clinic then kena transfer ke hospital sbb maybe dlm perut ade luka. mygosh hrp2 la this thing will nver happen! so today pn tk puase la mkn bubur mcd. hmm trseksa woo trseksa!

having a extremely freakingly..

2009-09-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

"GASTRIK"

smlm dh g clinic then doc gimme 2 days MC. so i didnt go 2 school today. tp subuh td tk bgn sahur then tk mkn ubt. im wondering how can i survive without taking any medicine. tp tahan jela kalau rse dh tk thn sgt bukk la. sementara tu dok layan la game path life dgn dorg ni kt office hahahahah.the 1st round aku kalah kau2 punye dpt last. but the 2nd round i won tp tk dpt 1st, dpt 2nd ke 3rd tk ingt(sorry la sejak 2 menjak ni everyone was like saying im nyanyok duhhhh). so dlm pkul 3.30 kot perut dh berkeroncong xapin. dh tk tahan sgt pegi la amik ubt. lps makan ubt then lega la sgt. huh

P/S: jgn lupe tgk iklan bru henry golding dkt tv3 tu. iklan minyak rmbut uber kot omygod he's hot man! urgh 1 lg iklan scha dgn fahrin tu. sumpah aku menyampah gile do. mcm sial. tlg la scha tu. aku sumpah menyampah gile do dgn die. duhh? of course i am jealous ok! "jealousy is acking to the love" and sudh semestinya i love fahrin ok! duhhhh naik menyampah.

Gastrik vs Pedih ulu hati?

2009-09-07T18:02:00.000-07:00

Today, was my most sakit day. drpd smlm dh aku sakit ni. Kejadian jd mula2 sbb smlm aku tk bgn sahur. pastu g skola tgh hari skit sakit perut mcm nk mati n i was wondering tht was gastrik. so aku pn dh tk tahan skit then buat kputusan nk brbuka puasa so i can take my ubt nasib baik la aku all the time bwk ubt kt beg. so i called papa and akk. ask their permission dlu, the permission approval ahahha(mcm nak buat loan plk). lepas tu msuk kelas ape lg, amik air mkn ubt. erhhh lega do. then hari ni td pg akk bgn la kn shur tp perut tkd slera nk mkn sgt so minum milo je nk alas perut and i was thinking tht kalau minum milo maybe la better skit prut ni. but in couple of minutes, perut aku jd sakit balik mcm smlm. omgosh seriously mmg tk tahan do. akk was thinking tht mmg ape yg aku alami ni gastrik sbb die ckp org2 yg gastrik ni mmg tak boleh mula kn hari dorg dgn minum benda yg brsusu. chit chat chit chat die surh beli gaviscon plak. tp gaviscon bukn untuk pedih ulu hati ke? hehhh pelik la plk sakit aku ni. thnk god tk g skola hari ni. nk tggu si aunti ma tu bgn pstu g clinic. mygod tdo mati ke ape. hahahahahahah

the new password had been sent 2 me

2009-09-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

yahoo dh sent password bru blog lame aku ni yg sudh sekian lama terbengkalai mcm tu je. if im not mistaken, aku created blog ni mase 2007 time aku form1 :) hehehehe thank god dh boleh bukk balik. mls la nk buat yg bru mmg bernasib baik la password n akhirnya boleh bukk balik. *Fuhhhhhh
just fr ur information update2 yg lame 2 sudh pn aku delete semua. so i may begin a new post from now on:)