Tarabik paluih den ;c

Hmm what a tiring day.. I am so000 exhausted;x I just got back from work. I can feel that my whole body was like trying to warning me to stop working. My effin god! It feels like shit, all the bitchy girls ugh, they disgust me!  Well, lets just forget about it. I don't know what's wrong with me this few weeks, my head, I don't know how to cure the headache ;s I already took my med but the pain still haunting me. How come? Pft. and and, even though I've been through so many hard times right now, deep inside he's still on my mind. Hmmm I miss him:'( I miss US :'( I'm still waiting for him ;(

I am dying because of u

It has been so very long but I still remember everything. I never thought we would ever be apart, but now it's been way too long. I just wanna hear ur voice. I know our life together has not been perfect, but that's just the way life goes. The way I feel for u doesn't go away. I thought after u left u would fade away from my mind but still everyday I wake up dreaming of our time together. I'll never forget u. I hope u still think of me too. There's nothing in this world that can compare to u and over these past years I've come to conclude that I feel like I am nothing without someone like u:( Though we've broken each other's hearts, we've always come back to try again but now this heart continues to break. All the promise's that u made, remember u said one day u were going to make me ur wife? I know that good things come to those who wait but my wonder is why does it take so long for those good things to arrive and why does the wait have to come with all these obstacles of hard and testing times? I am sick of this. Ya Allah:'( I'll wait as long as it takes because my love for u won't change in a year, twenty, not even a life time!!! U're always in my thoughts and prayers. Bak kata Brian Mcknight "U got the keys to my heart" macam tu la I rasa sekarang :'( Allah knows everything

"I'll be waiting for u.. here inside my heart I'm the one who wants to love u more..." 

:')

Oh its been a while!!! Well, my sister is getting married soon, so I am soooo busy preparing for her wedding thingy. Btw, my friend, Hadib is going to fly to Korea tonight for like 'a years' I think?-,- My effin god. He's like our bestfriend jugak kot. It hurts to accept but what else we can do and plus, its his dream to become a well-known footballer. Hadib, take a good care of urself, u're always in our thoughts. and and one thing, pls jangan lupa kitorang nanti. Of course we're gonna miss ur "pandai main!!!" Damn!!! Kalau dh famous jangan lupa kawan-kawan ayam kau ni k? Gonna miss ur green's helmet too hahahahah toodles

Hello hello

I've been busy lately with lot of things. Raya pun tk sempat update, well just forget about it. Papa pulak hari tu admitted hospital. Thats why takde masa nak update blog semua ni. Alhamdulillah, he's getting better now:) Plus, final exam is just around the corner. I don't know what to say. I'm not ready for my final exam! My oh my!This few days rasa lain macam. Asyik terfikir-fikir pasal ibu and also Allah. Setiap malam asyik terfikir, kalau lah tuhan tu nak amik nyawa aku time tu, senang je die terus amik. Tk fikir apa pun. Tah time tu keadaan aku macam mane la kan? Rasa macam diri ni kecil je di sisi Allah. Senang je die nak tarik nyawa kita. Tu pasal aku sekarang macam bila nak buat apa je mesti terfikir benda tu. So, aku lebih menghargai la hidup aku skrg ni walaupun tk berapa nak baik diri ni, but still, ade la jugak keinsafan dalam diri. Tak salah kan? I hope this feeling will always be there so that whenever I wanna do something bad, it'll automatically stop me. InsyaAllah. Yeah, nobody's perfect kan?

Heartache? Hmm well, there's nothing else I can say. Cause I'm tired of this. Kalau ade jodoh, ade la. Kalau tkde, nak buat macam mane. Dah bukan rezeki kan? I'm not sure which one of them who really were my soulmate. Asyik heartbroken je kan? Dah macam lali dh dengan semua ni. So, from now on, i'll just do my thing and hoping that someone will appreciate me and love me for who I am hehe no more nangis nangis please:)

"Mencintai tidak semestinya memiliki"

I'll be loving u for the rest of my life...

I do swear that I'll always love u. I'd give anything and everything and I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better or worse, I'll love u with every beat of my heart!  I will wait anxiously to be with u again. Until then u are in my heart, and in my mind, and I will ache until your return :(  I'm even getting old waiting for u. Deep in my heart I feel that u are the only man I can love. Every day I feel so lonely, seeing my friends going out with their lovers while u instead just do nothing. I just want u here with me. Please... life is very hard without u :'(

This is not what I want..

I've been trying and trying.. but this is not what I want. I just want my old life back. When we were together. I'm dying here, please la why is this happening to me? I cannot stand this pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:(

"

If my heart had wings I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream. - Faith Hill"

I didn't asked for it to be like this. Just that, I really really miss u. I just wanna meet u, but why is it so hard for u to come and meet me? U don't even have the commitment.. Why baby? I miss u most when I'm sad, I miss u when I'm lonely I MISS U ALL THE TIME :( I don't wanna be like this ALL THE TIME. It makes me sick and really hurts like hell ;[ but I will always love u baby, no matter what.

My Baby

I don't wanna think I'm going to lose u someday. U've always been there for me and I wanna be there for u just the same. U're the kind of person I could never afford to lose. because I love u so much baby! and baby, I know that we spend most of our time talking about nothing, but I just wanna let u know that all of these nothings have meant so much more than so many somethings. and yes, I think other guys are cute. but every time I see a cute guy, I remind myself how cute u are and how much I love u, how sweet u are. and suddenly, that other guy doesn't look all that good anymore. I don't need any other guys bby. I just need u:) 

I missed this :'( It makes me wanna cry *sighs

Dear B.L,

I rarely write a love letter, but I thought i'd do this fr u because u are the the most wonderful thing in my life right now:) I know we're far apart -- u're in ***, and Im in KL -- but hey, like I said, distance means so little when u love someone so much. I was just talkin to a friend bout u and explaining how u are on my mind 24/7. I can't eat, sleep, walk, or even work without thinking about u U are in my thoughts all the time. I'd tell u, u're in my heart, but I don't feel like that would be right, because my heart is not mine anymore> it belongs to u. u make me feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world. I need u to know I am with u through everything, the bad and the good. I've given u my heart and I hope thatou won't break it. Keep it and give it some loving from time to time. Don't worry about what other people say, I know how I feel towards u, and u know how u feel towards me, so just ignore them. Cant wait to meet ya
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not that sweet 16

Syukur Alhamdulillah I'm still breathing. The 1st person yg wish, as usual, my beloved bestfriend, Renee Amira. I love her so much, I really do.  Dh 2tahun meraikan tanpa ibu di sisi. Sad, isn't? Org yg paling kite syg, reason kita hidup, tp dh takde. Rase mcm mimpi je semua ni, knp cepat sgt ibu tggl kn ekin? Rase mcm dh tak sanggup dh nk hidup, lebih rela ikut ibu. Tp tu la, like everyone said, everything happens for reason, life must go on. Right? Hmmm I don't know what else to say, mungkin ini adalah takdir yg perlu aku terima dan redha dgn segala ketentuan-Nya. Ya Allah ya tuhanku, Ampunilah dosa kedua ibu bapa ku, tempatkan lah mereka di syurga mu Ya Allah ya tuhanku yang maha pemurah lagi maha pengasih, kasihanilah kedua ibu bapa ku seperti mana mereka mengasihani aku sejak kecil lagi, jauhkan lah mereka daripada azab kubur dan azab api neraka mu Ya Allah makbulkan lah doa hamba mu ini Ya Allah, ampunilah segala dosa-dosa ku Ya Allah sesungguhnya engkau maha pengampun dan maha mengerti segala nya. Amin, amin, amin Ya Robbalallamin.

And, aku still lagi tgk video tribute ibu ni, can't stop watching it. Rindu yang teramat amat sgt dekat ibu. Teringat semua kenangan2 dgn ibu, tk boleh la, sebak betul Hmmmmmmm
Al-Fatihah.

Now and forever...

My dear, I missed u so much. At this moment, I just wish I could be with u now and forever.. I keep thinking bout u. Its all about u :( I cried last night just because of u. I wish I could roll back the times when we were together. Entah tibe-tibe je perasaan ni tk henti2 mcm ni. I don't know why!! and to be honest, it really hurts me.. really really bad :(

I don't know what else to do. May Allah help me to get through all of this& may Allah bless u too :( Everytime I see ur pictures, our pictures, I'll cry. I couldn't stop those tears that fall down my cheek :'( 

InsyaAllah

*tgh membiasakn diri baca doa ni tiap-tiap hari supaya dimakbulkan. Kerana setiap kata-kata itu 1 doa, amin amin amin Ya Robbal Allamin.
Ya Allah, Seandainya telah engkau catatkan
Dia milikku tercipta buatku
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami
Agar kemesraan itu abadi
Tetapi Ya Allah
Seandainya telah engkau takdirkan
Dia bukan milikku
Bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku Ya Allah
Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan
Serta Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku Yang Maha Mengerti
Berikanlah aku kekuatan
Melontar bayangannya jauh ke dada langit
Hilang bersama senja nan merah
Agar aku boleh bahagia
Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya
Dan Ya Allah yang tercinta
Gantikanlah yang telah hilang
Tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah
Walaupun tidak sama dengan dirinya
Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku
Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdirMu
Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan
Adalah yang terbaik buatku
Kerana Engkau Maha Mengetahui
Segala yang terbaik buat hambaMu ini
Ya Allah
Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaku
Di dunia dan di Akhirat
Dengarlah rintihan dari hambaMu yang daif ini
Jangan Engkau biar aku sendirian
Di dunia ini mahupun di Akhirat
Menjurus aku ke arah kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran
Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman
Supaya aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup
Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan yang soleh, amin, amin, amin Ya Robbal Allamin..

Not okay

Tengah meng-prepare kan diri ni untuk my upcoming bday Ahad ni, 2tahun menyambut tanpa ibu di sisi. Mood tak berapa nk baik 2 3 hari ni, dh boleh rase mcm mane nnt time hari tu. Menangis, itu perkara biase. 2 3 hari ni jugk aku terasa insaf semacam. Rasa mcm byk sgt dh aku buat dosa, harap2 la perasaan ni sentiasa ada dlm diri ni supaya dpt aku hindarkan segala macam dosa yg senantiase aku lakukan. I'm just sick and tired of doing that. Jauhkanlah segala hasutan iblis terhadap ku, amin.

Thursday

Hurmmm? Is it? So lepas ni kalau ade sexual harassment ke ap, kita tak boleh nk salah kan dorang la? By using this fact? Right? Sekarang ni, mcm2 kafir boleh buat. Maybe ade betul nye, but then again, We should not take this as an advantage for us, I mean for the guys la kan. I don't know whether its true or not but maybe we can take this as a knowledge for us  

Hello Hello

Its been ages I didn't post anything since last 2 months. I've been busy lately with exam and a lot of things. I don't wanna talk bout exam, cause obviously I will fail those importants subject. Yeah yeah yeah, what to do, I didn't prepared well before. I'm on school break right know, fheww best gila plus enjoying fifa world cup kan sampai tak tidur kan sampai mata sembam kan, mmg best -..-

Aku makin menyampah pulak tengok betina-betina dekat facebook ni. Im getting sick of it, like seriously. Macam nk main balik myspace je. Tah mane betina tah, set her default holding cigga, and I was like? "Macam cibaiiiiiiii" Hello? Is it necessary? and I really hate ppl who wants to show off to the whole world that they're taking drugs, alcohol, and those things. Tak perlu la mcm tu, even aku pun tk masuk kn gambar-gambar mcm tu. Orang amik semua tu nk enjoy, ini tak, Just for the sake nak bangga diri amik benda tu semua by taking those pics and upload it on fb, etc. Aku tk ckp nk tgkp gambar tu salah, but come on la, u shouldn't have done that la. So unprofessional -__- or in other words "immature" I suppose? Aku pun kalau tgkp gmbr punye la suruh Darina jgn msuk pic yang kurang baik. Tolong la, buat ape nak masukkan? Setakat nk malu kn diri sendiri baik tkpyh la, beribu2 orang kat dunia ni yg main fb and kita tktau ap yg diorang boleh buat so takpyh la nk take risk. Might as well simpan je. Memalukan betul ;O

Hahah by the way guys, just wanna introduce u my part time lover for the time being. Hahahahaha wuuuu  me likey likey

Hmmmm what else? Oh yeah, my bf? They all left me and I don't know where the hell they gone. Whatever, yang penting chuck tetap bersama blair, through good and bad :) Ahh I just love it!!

Life without ibu

Its not that easy, i've been struggling to live my life without her.. They just don't know how much I suffered, its easier said than done. Pn tan wrote something on my essay's book, she told me she really engrossed reading my essay and knows what i've been through and asked me to go and see counselor. Hmmm I can't, they do not understand my feelings, seriously. Its not like before this i never been there. I've been there a lot of times, seriously it won't works. Maybe I should just live my life like this and hoping it could be as beautiful as before.. Until then, I just have to wait..

million of tears..

 I love u so much, it makes me cry bcause I know that when it finally happened that someone will take u away or u would have to leave. My love for u won't be enough to make u stay :( I don't know why u did this to me, but hmmm. I played the same song, over and over cause it reminds me of u. Am i really that bad? and i don't deserve someone like u? For heaven sakes, im sick of trying. I'll always love u, forever, but i have to move on. May Allah bless u, amin.
I LOVE U SO MUCH *sighs

I missed ibu so much. Ibu i miss ur hugs :'( I cannot live without you, pls come back I just need u here beside me to get through all of this. Please Im begging u, I miss u so much ibu. Ekin rindu sgt dkt ibu, sgt sgt :'(
Balik rumah, tkd sp dekat rumah after all this time, ibu yg selalu tggu ekin dkt rumah, pick me up at school, tp skrg bile ekin balik skolah, theres nobody in the hse. Kakak keje. Im all alone in the house.
I forgot to tell u guys, hari tu i mimpi psl ibu. I cannot remember what day, but it happened last week if im not mistaken. I was so tired just got back from volleyball training, then mandi2 lepas tu baring dlm bilik tertidur. I dreamt bout ibu, mimpi time tu dalam kereta ibu duduk depan and i was at the back. We were heading to somewhere I don't know where. Time dlm keta tu, i pegang tgn die, i kiss tgn die byk kali seolah2 i mcm baru perasan ibu i yg i dh lame tk jumpe i mcm rase benda tu mcm realiti tp in the same time i tgh bermimpi. fhm tak? Hmmm then suddenly i menangis i ckp dgn die knp ibu tggl ekin? knp ibu tggl ekin sorg2? pls jgn tggl kn ekin lg, tp die tk brckp lngsung, die diam je. I cried some more, then suddenly kakak woke me up then she asked me knp i menangis while i tidur? I was a bit blur, I wiped my tears, then I told her that I was dreaming bout ibu. Sedih sgt kn? Tk tau la same ad itu betul2 ibu or cume mimpi. I harap sgt dpt jumpe ibu, peluk ibu, kiss ibu lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeee2. Setiap hari, setiap malam ekin msti berharap sgt supaya ibu dtg sini, tidur dgn ekin setiap mlm. I just, I cannot survive my life without u ibu :'(
;I dedicated this song for u ibu...

oral test 2010- cooking show

THE SCRIPT

Ekin: Good Afternoon to my beloved english teacher, Pn Tan Siew Yan and friends. Today, I'm going to show you guys how to make a simple sandwich for a picnic. A healthy way to enjoy urself, to have a picnic with a perfect simple sandwich. The ingredients is cabbage, cheese, black-pepper, tomato and wholegrain bread.
I'm going to use a healthy bread, which is wholegrain. You can also choose any kind of bread u prefer.
Then, decide what u want to put inside. There are tons of toppings from the classic peanut butter& jelly to the more complex ones such as tuna& vegetables. You can choose whatever u want but BE CAREFUL to mix flavors that work well together. So now, Renee is going to cut the tomato into slices, put it on the top of the bread, continue with cheese, some black-pepper and cabbage. Get together all ur picnic yummies& u're ready for picnic! Thank you.

:l

You're the reason I live and the reason I die, you're the reason

 

chapter1&2

I just finished baca-ing the 2 topics for tommorrow's exam. and im gonna write it back based on what i baca just now to test wheiter i can remember it or not.

There's a 7 scientific investigation method, the 1st one is identifying the problem, identifying the variables, making a hypothesis, controlling the variables, planning the investigation, carrying out the investigation and writing a report. Identifying the problem means understand the problem and stating the problem by asking questions. Forming a hypothesis means making a general statement about the relationships between manipulated and responding variables, must be tasted to prove its validity. Planning an experiment means planning a suitable and systematic method, determining the apparatus, time and situation. Controlling the variables means to control the manipulated, responding and constant variables. The last one is, carrying out the investigation, means to do experiment by having collection of data, intepretation of data and conclusions.


Body coordination means ability to move one's movements properly. It invovles two system, it is nervous system and endocrine system. The importance of body coordination is enables the body to carry out various activities, protect the body from external stimuli and ensures health of the well-being of our body.

The human nervous system composed 2 system, it is CNS and PNS. Theres a 2 parts in CNS. It is brain and spinal cord. Brain controls all actions and spinal cord controls reflex actions.Theres also 2 parts in PNS the 1st one is somatic nerve system, somatic nerve system controls all voluntary actions. It invovles 2 things in the somatic nerve system, it is cranial cord, found in the head and spinal cord, found in the body. The 2nd part in the PNS is autonomy nerve system, autonomy nerve system controls all involuntary actions. It also involves 2 things, the first one is sympathetic nerve system and parasympathetic nerve system.



Thats all i know guys ;O

No it don't mean jack!

Im happy with my life now, stop disturbing me. Do ur own thing please. Don't act like u're sooo sooo caring about me. I miss you, I'll always love you but I have to move on.
Im going to bkt merah today, and friday im goin to penang XOXO

Finally, but........

It feels like i'm stuck in the best fairytale in the world, or like i'm having the best dream that I could ever imagine, and i'm just so scared that i'm gonna wake up from the dream and maybe everything will just be all gone :X *hope my life will get better than before, amin ;O
 

 You're better than the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)
And the moments when my good times start to fade

You make me smile like a sun, Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along just like a flower pokin through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain
And just like that

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

;)

him

It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. but you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. and yes, you will have bad days  but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person

SYAFIAH HUMAIRAH SAHARI

SALAM TAKZIAH BUAT ALLAHYARHAM SYAFIAH HUMAIRAH SAHARI, 

Mangsa dera kejam seorang lelaki yg menjadi teman lelaki kpd ibunya. Dhla duduk sekali, kawin nye tak? Astaga, Allah knows everything. Hmmm may Allah bless this girl. Sudah tentu nya masuk syurga.Tk dpt byg kn betapa sakit nye budak 3 thn ni menderita kena seksa mcm tu? Hmmm masyaAllah, Al-fatihah.

IBU

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. ppl have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just because you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait hmmmmm :'(

a letter from my stepfather kononnye dedicated to my late mom -_-

Sayang....

Ingatan ini tidak pernah padam terhadap dirimu. Setiap kali selesai menghadiahkan Al Fatihah pada rohmu, aku sentiasa berlinangan air mata. Setiap kali terdengar lagu "Tiada Lagi Kidungmu", diri ini tersedu sedan menahan gelodak di dlm dada.

Sayang....

Seminggu setelah pemergian dirimu, aku tak mampu pulang ke rumah kita. Aku tahu diri ini tidak sekuat dirimu menahan sebak. Namun setelah tiba waktunya, aku pulang juga. Sebaik sahaja melangkah masuk, aku terus hiba. Apabila masuk ke kamar kita, aku tewas akhirnya. Aku meraung, aku menangis. Aku peluk selendang mu yg tidak berbasuh lagi. Aku cium wangi dirimu. Aku lihat potret kita di atas meja. Aku memeluk bantal terakhir yg kau tidur sebelum kau dibawa ke hospital. Aku meraung dengan semahunya mahunya....Aku sedar aku sudah kehilangan dirimu. Aku sedar tiada lagi seorang kekasih menyambut kepulanganku. Aku sedar tiada lagi seorang isteri di sampingku. Di mana lagi harus aku bermanja? Di mana lagi harus aku mencurah kasih yg tak terhingga? Di mana lagi hendak aku mengadu kisah duka..?

Sayang...

Bulan Ogos bakal tiba. 5 Ogos menandakan setahun dirimu pulang menghadapNya. Setahun diri ini sayang tinggalkan. Setahun juga diri ini terumbang ambing tiada arah tujuan. Setahun juga aku merindukan suara mu, gelak tawamu, gurau senda kita...setahun aku kehilangan mu sayang.....

Sayang....

Aku mendirikan istana yang baru. Aku berkahwin juga setelah tidak dapat hidup sendirian. Namun aku membuat kesilapan. Panas yang aku harapkan ke petang, hujan mencurah di tengah hari. Aku kehilangan seseorang sekali lagi. Namun perpisahan yg terbaru ini tidak begitu perit. Mungkin kasih kami belum matang dan berakar umbi. Lalu dalam mengharungi hidup yg kembali keseorangan ini, bayang wajahmu tidak pernah lari dari ingatanku. Apakah aku bersalah sayang? Apakah aku bersalah tidak meminta izin darimu untuk mendirikan istana yg baru?

Sayang....

Aku pohon dari kejauhan ini, izinkanlah aku bertemu seseorang sebagai penawar semua kedukaan yg tak pernah padam di hati ini. Izinkanlah aku mengasihi seorang lain yg bergelar isteri. Walaupun aku tahu dirinya tidak boleh menyamai dirimu, namun aku pasti sayang juga mahu sesorang menjaga diriku, menyayangi diriku walaupun tidak sama dengan caramu. Tapi sayang, jiwa dan hati ini terlalu luka. Apakah dapat lagi aku menerima seorang insan untuk menerangi segenap hati yg kegelapan? Kasihku yang pertama meninggalkan aku sendiri...kasih ku yg kedua menghalau aku jauh pergi...Haruskah aku sanggup menerima kasih yg ketiga tanpa berbelah bahagi...?

Sayang...

Sayang jangan risau...sayang sentiasa di dlm ingatan, terpahat kuat tiada yg boleh menggugat. Di dalam hati ini telah aku sediakan ruang khas utk ingatan terhadap sayang. Sayanglah isteri, kekasih, sahabat pertama dlm hidup ini.......

walaupun tiada lagi ku dengar kidung....kerana kau pegi meninggalkan aku..

tiada lagi derai tawamu...kerana aku kini keseorangan

hanya kesepian...yang kian mencengkam...jiwaku..keran

..a tidak pernah terisi oleh kasih yang lain

Sayang....

Aku berdoa pada Yang Maha Esa...semoga sayang di tempatkan di golongan yang disayangiNya...semoga sayang bahagia di sana...semoga sayang tenang dan abadi selamanya...

Al Fatihah...
--------------------------..--------------------------..--------------------------..-----

What is this suppose to mean? After what u did to us? after what u did to the whole family? Can't u remember? 3weeks b4 my mom passed away? U were so mad, cuz my mom was walking a bit 'lembab'? U were shouting in front of ppl at the airport? while i was holding her hand? Still remember? What are u trying to do right now actually? Allah knows everything. U no need to tell us this whole crap. Everyone knows u met that girl before my mom died right? Its too late. Remember, what u give u get back. No need to write this just because u want another person in ur life. Nothing to do with my mom! U know what is my 1st impression when i saw this? "did he do this just for the sakes everybody would've sympathy to him or actually being a beggar?". U think my mom would want u to look happy without her? after what u did to her? NO! I DONT THINK SO!
Stop it, enough is enough. DONT U EVER DARE COME TO ME OR TO US FOR FORGIVENESS!
Its not worth it, AT ALL!


Sincerely from ur stepdaughter,
Azrul Asyikin Aziz Ahmad.

FED UP

fuck la its always me. im the baddest one. wtf ever la wei. Im freaking tired with all this bullshits! Fuck the world IM DEAD

Peter

Ohmygod, just now i went to bkt jalil for jogging with my dad. afta we go back im the only one yg tak mandi lagi. punye la laret dok on9. tup tup its already 12.45? burpppp. i wonder how am i gonna survive in the toilet semua dah tidur. Punye la berani kan diri pegi tandas, suddenly time bukak pintu tandas ade peter terbang. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *sudden attack la kata kn hahaha
punye la mati akal dok fikir mcm mn nak mandi dgn peter tu ade kt dalam.  Damn where's the 'damn' ridsect? pftttt. Finally, jumpe jugak! Dah 10 kali spray peter tu baru la die pening2 sikit mcm nk pitam(see on the pic above). Huh dapat jugak mandi dengan tenang. And damn, it was like an EARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHQUAKEEEE!!


*did u notice this few days i didnt bold any words? its because of im kinda lazy to bold any 'keywords'. only if i got time to bold it, then i will :P

NO AIR

THIS IS FOR YOU BABY
+the lyrics is totally for you


Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air


**I miss u but i don't wanna text u, cuz i know u didn't miss me right?

Back to basic

 

Well its been "erkk how many days hah?" i've been starving like hell just to make sure that i can wear those bikini's in my closet which getting stinky day by day ;x als, i've trained myself to jog as much as i can. but i guess it doesn't work so much though. My stomach still look ~!@#$%^&*()_+. Whatever it is, i'll try my best to get the best result. I AM THE SOLUTION!!Just wait another 3months :P *i guess so hehe

I dont wanna talk about the hp thingy -__- TQ

Ibu

Its all about ibu. Tadi ade perbincangan psl family. Its about harta-harta arwah ibu semua yg skrg jd masalah bile ayahanda and mak ngah adalah punca segalanya. Sambil aku dok dengar-dengar dorg berbincang semua suddenly terus terasa sebak sangat-sangat. 'rupe nye mcm ni la mak ngah? selama ni yg dikatekn adk kpd ibu aku rupe-rupe nye bertalam-talam muke die' 'drpd dulu ayahanda mmg tk serik-serik nk musnah kn hidup ktorg'. benda2 tu la yg dok bermain kt fikiran aku sambil diorang dok berbincang. Aku rase kesian sgt dkt akak, abg wan, abg lg, yana and diri aku sendiri. Selama ni yg mak ngah yg ktorang knl, yg baik dengan ibu semua. rupe-rupe nye bile ibu dh tk ade ape yg die nak cume lah harta. Ape semua ni? Aku mmg dh tak boleh nk carry on dh td, terus keluar kjp menangis. Knp dorg sanggup buat mcm tu? Sedangkn anak arwah sendiri pon tak terhegeh2 nk harta semua. Sdare mara yg lebih2? Kalau ktorg yg sibuk settle kn hal2 harta ni korg cakap ktorg ketagih harta sgt. tp itu semua utk kepentingan ktorg. Ktorang ade hak ktorg sendiri, ibu tu ibu ktorg. Mak ngah bukan waris. Anak jugak yg paling penting. Sedih la bile jd mcm ni, aku pun tk boleh buat pape. Sbb tu lg stress dgr mcm ni sedih teringat ibu. Ibu dekat sane punye la menunggu doa dr anak2 diorang drpd org yg die syg. tp dekat dunia, keluarga2 terdekat semua dok sebok nk kejar harta? Itu yg paling aku sedih sgt. Mcm mn la tanggapan ibu bile tgk semua ni? Aku rase menyesal sangat. Aku byk sgt buat dosa dekat ibu. Mmg la tkde spe pun perfect dekat dunia ni. Tp aku dh tekad aku nk berubah. Padahal aku yg syg sgt ibu tp aku still buat dosa? From now on, aku akan make sure aku berubah sedikit demi sedikit. Tak perlu ckp la ape dosa2 aku. Tapi yg penting aku mmg byk buat dosa. Mesti ibu ckp 'rupe2 nye mcm ni anak aku. die syg aku tp knp die buat mcm tu?' tk boleh byg kn mcm mane die sedih. Ya Allah!! Knp lah sebak sgt dada ni. Aku dh tk boleh fikir ape2 dh skrg. Asyik teringat ibu je. Menyesal sgt sgt! Ibu, kin tk kesah pasal harta. Ekin dh tekad, im not going to be selfish from now on. Yg paling sedih bile dgr abg wan ckp td dekat akak and abglg 'abg buat semua ni utk adk2 kite. ekin and yana. masa depan dorg' rupe2 nye abg2, akk aku ambik berat tentang aku and adik aku. Sedih sgt bile fikir kn nasib aku and yana. especially yana, kak uda sayang sgt dekat yana. kak uda sbenanye mmg tk suke bile aunty layan yana mcm tu. kak uda sedih bile yana tggal sorg2 kt umh papa. kak uda tahu yana mesti lg rindu kn ibu. kak uda terfikir kn psl yana, mcm mn yana nk hadapi semua ni. yana lg la tktahu pape.

Sedih sangat. Dalam kepala otak ni tkde fikir lain dh semua nye psl ibu and family. kalau cerita dekat org selain dr family aku pun dorg maybe tak kan faham. So malas la aku nk menyusahkn dorg. Aku dh tktau nk ckp ape dh. Asyik terbayang muke ibu je. May Allah help me to get through all of this, amin.


AND YES, I'VE CHANGED. AND GUYS PLS I JUST NEED UR SUPPORT. I WONT MAKE IT WITHOUT U GUYS. I KNOW ITS A TOUGH DECISION. BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST AND TO TRY MY BEST ALL I NEED IS FROM U GUYS. I CANT DO IT ALONE. HOPE U GUYS UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION,TQ.

its easier said than done

I've been faking these smiles for a long long time. I dont know what to say but im tired of everything, and sick of trying. at the end it still the same. This few days i kept thinking bout my family. i know there's something wrong bout it. For my dearest ex girlfriend, u can do whatever u like u can live with whom u like. I wont force u. U have ur own right to seek for ur happiness. The reason i say this is not because im goin to say 'sorry' or what. What i do was right. So accept the fact. I dont care what ppl gonna say. Its my life and i have my own authority to choose or to live with it. U're not my darina anymore. U've changed and i totally hate that new darina, its totally disgusting' for heaven sakes. so i guess i should just leave.


Well i obviously not satisfied with my results. Its totally crap and hell bad. urghhh.
 I went out with adam last night it was just fine;) ohh yeah im goin to penang tonight with my friends actually i was just goin' there to accompany my sister for the make-up thingy but i was thinking that it would be more fun if i could go with my friends too. so i decided to ask them to join me and hell we're going to have a lots of fun there!:) i just miss the day we had fun together at auto-city. its still fresh in my mind hehehe.

i'll continue my story later, i gtg

Perasan

Pity girl. Guys, darina thought that i was giving that status to her. For heaven sakes, puhles. I am so not gonna wasting my time talking bullshit about her. Its like, do i get paid? Duhhhh. Such a silly girl Toodles

IMMATURE

WHAT A POOR LIL GIRL WHO NEED SOME ATTENTION FROM ME. I DONT KNOW WHY SHE DID THIS. WELL HONEY, NICE TRY.






Cookie Monster: hello , weh , aku nak tanye sikit ni .

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fahrinismorehansomethanyou: bile mase plak aku tak kasi renee tegur kau



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fahrinismorehansomethanyou: so kalau kau rase mcm tu? suke hati kau la. xd bg ape2 effect pn kt aku
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He ate my heart
He a-a-ate my heart 'you little monster Hahahahahah

a boring day of Friday

Suddenly, i cant stop thinking bout my mom. I just wish i could roll back the times :'( hmm well today was quite tired and totally hot ("wuw malaysia so hot!"). I am now at my dad's house listening to music while chatting with my friends and blogging. Yana went for vacation with atuk. My 'beloved' stepmom just went out just now with aqeel and 'dugung' to cinema. Pfftttt. Im so touched with this two songs. I kept repeating the same song :( Hmmm and my stomach, urghh totally in pain i tell you :x

Well i am not trying to show off or anything but today in bm class, pn noraini took my paper as one of the best essay's in the class. To be real, im kinda tersipu malu(in other words, 'kembang') sekejap td and renee keep on teasing me what the fuck man Huhh. Pn noraini told them bout the new teachers and they dont know who is he so i showed them the way that new teacher trademark i mean his shoulder is bongkok Hahahahahahah and suddenly pn noraini 'awak ni tak baik la hahahahaha' hahaha and renee cant stop laughing and followed with the ppl in the class damn it hahahaha. Renee got that freaking stupid flu and she's like 'huh leng chai got tissue ha? gimme one' she keep on asking that guy the same damn thing hahahah Poor lil girl, jibaoooook

And yet, im still listening to 'i want to know what love is' lalalalalalalal~

Lenjun day

This is about fahrin, yeah yesterday. Serious shit i am so fucking bengang with those fitnah they had told to media. Well nothing much happened bout yesterday but guess what? Hahahah renee mandi hujan semalam and she's looking so sexy and hot! Hhahaha dayummmm u're sexy chick! I just spilled the mineral water at her hair hahahah serves u right. At 1st, she's planning to buy the ice cream, she ask for via's money then when she turn back the ice cream man already gone (i want u to know tht it doesnt matter where we take this road some1 gotta go and i want u to know im already gone lalalalal~)Hahahhahaha that's totally funny Seriously FUNNY i cant stop laughing hahahahahahahahahahahah

u guys should see this *CSL

habis basah lenjun rmbut die wuuuuu dayumm!

*muatan besar and also beg besar 'a great combination :P

Ohhh btw i forgot to tell u guys last 4days i went to mid buying some bra's with my sister, my family also with us. We had our dinner at american chilli's (as usual). I cant stop thinking bout the most delicious chocolate fonte that we had there. Urghhhh totally fats!!

&&&i miss this

I miss the talks we used to have, I miss the voice I used to hear. I miss hearing your crazy but cool stories, and above all these, I just miss you! Hmpppppppp *flash back mode