;/

Tomorrow is gonna be the 3rd time for me celebrating my birthday without my mom. I don't know how to hide my tears, especially tomorrow. I don't know how to face it, its really hard for me. She's all I had and without her, life doesn't make sense to me. My whole world has fallen apart. Ya Allah :(

Tarabik paluih den ;c

Hmm what a tiring day.. I am so000 exhausted;x I just got back from work. I can feel that my whole body was like trying to warning me to stop working. My effin god! It feels like shit, all the bitchy girls ugh, they disgust me!  Well, lets just forget about it. I don't know what's wrong with me this few weeks, my head, I don't know how to cure the headache ;s I already took my med but the pain still haunting me. How come? Pft. and and, even though I've been through so many hard times right now, deep inside he's still on my mind. Hmmm I miss him:'( I miss US :'( I'm still waiting for him ;(

I am dying because of u

It has been so very long but I still remember everything. I never thought we would ever be apart, but now it's been way too long. I just wanna hear ur voice. I know our life together has not been perfect, but that's just the way life goes. The way I feel for u doesn't go away. I thought after u left u would fade away from my mind but still everyday I wake up dreaming of our time together. I'll never forget u. I hope u still think of me too. There's nothing in this world that can compare to u and over these past years I've come to conclude that I feel like I am nothing without someone like u:( Though we've broken each other's hearts, we've always come back to try again but now this heart continues to break. All the promise's that u made, remember u said one day u were going to make me ur wife? I know that good things come to those who wait but my wonder is why does it take so long for those good things to arrive and why does the wait have to come with all these obstacles of hard and testing times? I am sick of this. Ya Allah:'( I'll wait as long as it takes because my love for u won't change in a year, twenty, not even a life time!!! U're always in my thoughts and prayers. Bak kata Brian Mcknight "U got the keys to my heart" macam tu la I rasa sekarang :'( Allah knows everything

"I'll be waiting for u.. here inside my heart I'm the one who wants to love u more..." 

:')

Oh its been a while!!! Well, my sister is getting married soon, so I am soooo busy preparing for her wedding thingy. Btw, my friend, Hadib is going to fly to Korea tonight for like 'a years' I think?-,- My effin god. He's like our bestfriend jugak kot. It hurts to accept but what else we can do and plus, its his dream to become a well-known footballer. Hadib, take a good care of urself, u're always in our thoughts. and and one thing, pls jangan lupa kitorang nanti. Of course we're gonna miss ur "pandai main!!!" Damn!!! Kalau dh famous jangan lupa kawan-kawan ayam kau ni k? Gonna miss ur green's helmet too hahahahah toodles

Hello hello

I've been busy lately with lot of things. Raya pun tk sempat update, well just forget about it. Papa pulak hari tu admitted hospital. Thats why takde masa nak update blog semua ni. Alhamdulillah, he's getting better now:) Plus, final exam is just around the corner. I don't know what to say. I'm not ready for my final exam! My oh my!This few days rasa lain macam. Asyik terfikir-fikir pasal ibu and also Allah. Setiap malam asyik terfikir, kalau lah tuhan tu nak amik nyawa aku time tu, senang je die terus amik. Tk fikir apa pun. Tah time tu keadaan aku macam mane la kan? Rasa macam diri ni kecil je di sisi Allah. Senang je die nak tarik nyawa kita. Tu pasal aku sekarang macam bila nak buat apa je mesti terfikir benda tu. So, aku lebih menghargai la hidup aku skrg ni walaupun tk berapa nak baik diri ni, but still, ade la jugak keinsafan dalam diri. Tak salah kan? I hope this feeling will always be there so that whenever I wanna do something bad, it'll automatically stop me. InsyaAllah. Yeah, nobody's perfect kan?

Heartache? Hmm well, there's nothing else I can say. Cause I'm tired of this. Kalau ade jodoh, ade la. Kalau tkde, nak buat macam mane. Dah bukan rezeki kan? I'm not sure which one of them who really were my soulmate. Asyik heartbroken je kan? Dah macam lali dh dengan semua ni. So, from now on, i'll just do my thing and hoping that someone will appreciate me and love me for who I am hehe no more nangis nangis please:)

"Mencintai tidak semestinya memiliki"

I'll be loving u for the rest of my life...

I do swear that I'll always love u. I'd give anything and everything and I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better or worse, I'll love u with every beat of my heart!  I will wait anxiously to be with u again. Until then u are in my heart, and in my mind, and I will ache until your return :(  I'm even getting old waiting for u. Deep in my heart I feel that u are the only man I can love. Every day I feel so lonely, seeing my friends going out with their lovers while u instead just do nothing. I just want u here with me. Please... life is very hard without u :'(

This is not what I want..

I've been trying and trying.. but this is not what I want. I just want my old life back. When we were together. I'm dying here, please la why is this happening to me? I cannot stand this pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!